Day 180
I fought discouragement and weariness all day.
I was lonely and feeling completely empty.
My mind was foggy; I couldn't think straight.
My perspective on my life was way off;
I felt as though I have nothing to look forward to.
I tried to read my Bible but had a hard time focussing.
Tried doing a million other daily tasks in hopes that ignoring it would make it go away. Anyone who has ever experienced spiritual attack knows that this never works!
Finally I just stopped. Nothing of this world could fill the lingering emptiness, so why was I trying to pretend it would? I claimed a time of worship--pure worship out of a hungering heart for God. I sat down at my piano and as soon as I began to play, the presence of Jesus fell. I started to cry so much that I couldn't even sing. I just played song after song, and Jesus soaked my heart in His love. How easy He made it to come to Him! When I finally brought everything to Him, trusting Him to take it, He met me there.
Lesson: nothing satisfies but Jesus in my life
Day 181
Continued lonelines.
Continued weariness.
I felt like an empty shell,
just going through the motions.
I didn't want to sit home alone that night,
so I decided to reach out for some fellowship.
I think the Lord knew I needed friends that night--
almost everyone was available to hang out!
(last-minute, on a work night!)
We talked, laughed, and played games until after 10pm.
I was so glad I made that first phone call!
Lesson: it's okay to need people
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Winter is the season for feeling that way - at least for me. But spring is on its way! Glad you could have your time with God. I need to rely on him more.
ReplyDeleteThank goodness it was sunny out today! It really does make a difference.
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