Sunday, October 31, 2010
New Inspiration
As many of you know, my goal of "365 Days of Claiming" was met two and a half months ago. Since then, I have written very little and have been left to wonder, "What now?" If you are one of my dear followers, you've been along for the whole adventure, and some of you have even asked me the very same question. This morning the answer came to me--A sequel blog that uses what I've learned to inspire others. My new blog, called "Claiming Happiness," will include some of my own continued claims, but focus more on nuggets of inspiration, ideas for how to find happiness/contentment, suggestions for inspiring readings/movies, quotes to spur us on, and more. Stay tuned!
Friday, September 17, 2010
Some highlights from the past week...
Bought that beautiful bouquet of creamy white roses,
mixed up a batch of blueberry muffins (from scratch); enjoyed every bite,
wrote Alistair Begg a letter in response to a Truth for Life radio sermon,
gave a "love gift" to a friend in need,
bought a card to encourage a fellow "doctor's patient,"
said YES to go speed dating in October with a new friend...
How about you? What of your week?
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
A Wall
Do you ever feel stuck?
Stuck in one place--
Nothing moving forward?
The same mistakes, the same problems...
And you envision who you want to be,
yet feel you will never get there;
the risk seems too great,
the wall too high?
...What do you do in moments like these?
Stuck in one place--
Nothing moving forward?
The same mistakes, the same problems...
And you envision who you want to be,
yet feel you will never get there;
the risk seems too great,
the wall too high?
...What do you do in moments like these?
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Life After Claiming
Where do I go from here?
Where will life lead?
Do I continue this path of writing, or just continue living?
He is my happiness, and He makes all things new.
Where will life lead?
Do I continue this path of writing, or just continue living?
He is my happiness, and He makes all things new.
Monday, August 16, 2010
Day 365 A Different Kind of School
My last claim. I can hardly believe it! Has it really been a whole year? Everything that has happend, all of the changes in me... Will I ever be able to recount, to grasp, all that the Lord has done for me, in me, through this journey? How much has changed! How much I have changed. I can truly say that I am content. I can truly say that I am His. And I can truly say that claiming has become a part of me. What more could I desire? Wasn't this the desired outcome of this journey? YES. Jesus has met me in it and done a work in me. Oh how faithful is our Savior!
So what, you may ask, was my final claim? Something new, something exciting. Something like nothing else I've done before--I went snorkeling, surrounded by schools of fish, rocks and algae... Waterfalls, laughter, and friends. The feeling of swimming amidst colorful creatures was invigorating! I chased them, reached out to them, swirled around in the water near them. What a world!
Final Lesson: life is a choice. never stop living it!
So what, you may ask, was my final claim? Something new, something exciting. Something like nothing else I've done before--I went snorkeling, surrounded by schools of fish, rocks and algae... Waterfalls, laughter, and friends. The feeling of swimming amidst colorful creatures was invigorating! I chased them, reached out to them, swirled around in the water near them. What a world!
Final Lesson: life is a choice. never stop living it!
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Day 364 A Surprise Promise
I woke up to red sunbeams bursting through my window. Glancing at the clock, I saw that it was a mere 5:58. Too early for this night owl, yet I was wide awake. I felt that the Lord had awoken me, wanting me to take in the beautiful sunrise before me. Knowing the last time I'd gone outside to view a sunrise was at least ten years ago, I decided it was a must. I pulled on some workout pants and a hoody, slipped on my flipflops, and headed out the door. It was magnificent! Just as I got to the sidewalk in search of a better view, I turned and my eyes grew wide with amazement: the sky to the West was decorated with the tallest, clearest rainbow I have ever seen! I couldn't believe it! In the East--a sunrise, in the West--a promise. Jesus had done this for me! He was with me. He would never forsake me. And He wanted to remind me. As I took in the beautiful colors, the left end of the rainbow started to glow from the sun's rays. I started to follow it down the sidewalk, hoping to get a better view of the sphere that was illuminating the sky. When I reached the end of the rainbow, I could see but the tip of the sun, yet it was gorgeous. When I turned to view the rainbow again, it was completey gone, just like that. It didn't even seem to fade. It was simply, well, gone. I smiled. This was for me.
Lesson: Jesus sees you.
Lesson: Jesus sees you.
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Day 363 Public Reading
Have you ever read a book in a restaraunt before? A cafe? A fancy sit-down place? I tried one time, at Panera Bread, but either the mood wasn't right or the book was dull--I lasted but a few moments. I just could not escape the conversations around me and enter a reader's world. Today, I tried again. Same place, different book. "The Lady of Hidden Intent" pulled me right in, and I found myself putting off important errands to turn the pages and remain in this hidden world. All chatter around me faded away and there I was--in 1856.
Friday, August 13, 2010
Day 362 Hidden Intent
We have the best library in the United States, honestly. It is literally ranked the number one library in our wonderful Unites States of America. Today, I checked out my first book. Well, my first three books actually, all written by Tracie Peterson, an author I recently discovered. I shall start with the most intriguing one: "Lady of Hidden Intent."
Lesson: take advantage of the resources around you!
Lesson: take advantage of the resources around you!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Day 361 Colorado Company
A visited by a young married couple, dear friends of mine, on their way back from Colorado brought laughter and encouragement on an otherwise ordinary Tuesday. Instead of our first thought of going to a movie or renting one, we decided to opt for good conversation and cooking a meal together. Tasty spinach wraps filled with chicken, diced tomatos, lettuce, and shredded cheese--a delightful summer lunch and a new "recipe" to add to my very small collection!
Lesson: turn off the T.V. and talk!
Lesson: turn off the T.V. and talk!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Day 360 Audrey Hepburn
Tonight I was captivated by the stunning actress in "Breakfast at Tiffany's." How is it that the first time I tried watching this wonderful film I lost interest and stopped watching after a mere 30 minutes? Beautiful, sophisticated, classic. This is Aubrey Hepburn. The "special features" segment highlighted her uniqueness and originality--a true inspiration for a young woman's heart. ...What will be said of me?
Lesson: given the right mood, a movie cast aside may become an inspiration
Lesson: given the right mood, a movie cast aside may become an inspiration
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Day 359 That's a Steal!
School's upcoming return brings motivation for preparation. For the first time, I took summer time to hit the office supply stores (Staples, Office Max, and the Office Depot), sign up for several teacher accounts, and take advantage of the great deals! Like, packs of paper for one cent each, a hot pink desk chair for $29.99... Did I mention I'm doing my teacher desk in hotpink this year??
Lesson: fresh school supplies make everything better!
Lesson: fresh school supplies make everything better!
Summer Part 5
Day 352 Eventhough dizzy from the painkillers, I decided to follow through with plans to take Mom to our sandvolleyball tournament to watch my team play. It honestly was a memorable bonding time! I never realized that my mom really likes volleyball or that she had played in school. We had a lot of fun watching an cheering them on together.
Day 353 Our group was hanging out and, after eating, I started getting a piercing pain in my side again. I was so scared that it was something serious! Instead of toughing it out alone, or just asking them to be praying for me, I claimed the moment and asked them to lay hands on me right then and there. It has been at least a year or two since I've done such a thing, and their prayers really brought me peace.
Day 354 A friend from the past sent me a thoughtful e-mailing checking up on my surgery. I opened the e-mail to reply and then thought, "I haven't talked to him in a long time--I should just call and tell him the awesome God story in person!" So I did, though I had to leave a message and wait for a reply. When we finally chatted, I was glad I chose the more personal route, and I was encouraged as I recounted the Lord's faithfulness and protection during the emergency.
Day 355 Another doctor, another frustrating appointment. This time, it was my eye doctor. Gumption kicked in and I addressed the issue. It didn't go very well, as the doctor's response was, "You just need to stay out of it--we're trying to find the best prescription for you..." Although it wasn't the response I'd hoped for, I was glad that I'd at least been mature enough to express my frustation in their handling of the matter.
Day 356 Tonight my mom and I laughed together so much--something that doesn't happen often with "mother" and "daughter." I had been working on a song I'm writing and decided to ask her to sing the duet part with me. We tried to record ourselves several times and ended up giggling most of the time. This is a memory I'll remember for a long time!
Day 357 Freedom! I was finally well enough to make it on my own! On the drive back from riding with my mom to meet my dad and get my car back, I blasted my Michael Buble cd and my friend Nicole and I sang at the top of our lungs, grooving in our seats and having a good time. I was back to the land of the living!!
Day 358 I had fallen. I needed encouragement and prayer. After the church service I went up for prayer and expressed my need for physical healing. As they prayed, I felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to be completely vulnerable and honest and ask them to pray for what I really needed prayer about. With total openess I told them about my struggle and asked them to pray for me a second time. I've never done such a thing before in my life, but walking out of the church I felt lifted.
Lesson: eventually, at the end of the day, you will find that you claimed without realizing it
Day 353 Our group was hanging out and, after eating, I started getting a piercing pain in my side again. I was so scared that it was something serious! Instead of toughing it out alone, or just asking them to be praying for me, I claimed the moment and asked them to lay hands on me right then and there. It has been at least a year or two since I've done such a thing, and their prayers really brought me peace.
Day 354 A friend from the past sent me a thoughtful e-mailing checking up on my surgery. I opened the e-mail to reply and then thought, "I haven't talked to him in a long time--I should just call and tell him the awesome God story in person!" So I did, though I had to leave a message and wait for a reply. When we finally chatted, I was glad I chose the more personal route, and I was encouraged as I recounted the Lord's faithfulness and protection during the emergency.
Day 355 Another doctor, another frustrating appointment. This time, it was my eye doctor. Gumption kicked in and I addressed the issue. It didn't go very well, as the doctor's response was, "You just need to stay out of it--we're trying to find the best prescription for you..." Although it wasn't the response I'd hoped for, I was glad that I'd at least been mature enough to express my frustation in their handling of the matter.
Day 356 Tonight my mom and I laughed together so much--something that doesn't happen often with "mother" and "daughter." I had been working on a song I'm writing and decided to ask her to sing the duet part with me. We tried to record ourselves several times and ended up giggling most of the time. This is a memory I'll remember for a long time!
Day 357 Freedom! I was finally well enough to make it on my own! On the drive back from riding with my mom to meet my dad and get my car back, I blasted my Michael Buble cd and my friend Nicole and I sang at the top of our lungs, grooving in our seats and having a good time. I was back to the land of the living!!
Day 358 I had fallen. I needed encouragement and prayer. After the church service I went up for prayer and expressed my need for physical healing. As they prayed, I felt prompted by the Holy Spirit to be completely vulnerable and honest and ask them to pray for what I really needed prayer about. With total openess I told them about my struggle and asked them to pray for me a second time. I've never done such a thing before in my life, but walking out of the church I felt lifted.
Lesson: eventually, at the end of the day, you will find that you claimed without realizing it
Monday, August 2, 2010
Summer Part 4
Day 345 Said YES when a random volleyball team was missing a female player and asked me to play for their game. It was a blast, and definitely a challenge for my confidence!
Day 346 Standing at my kitchen sink doing dishes, I found myself staring out the window at the gorgeous day. Knowing the summer was quickly ending, I called up a friend to see if she wanted to go canoeing (a summer activity I've wanted to do for the past few summers!). The lake was peaceful and still. Little did I know what chaos was coming the next day!
Day 347 Severe abdominal pain and constant throwing up found me making friends with my bathroom sink. This was the first time in my life (literally) that I'd ever thrown up. After over four hours of trying to survive, I knew I needed to brave my fears and go to the emergency room. Appendicitis landed me in surgery that night and a 24-hour hospital stay. So much for our first big family vacation in 17 years!! We were to leave the following morning.
Day 348 Going home from the hospital, we had go through the drive-through at Walgreens to pick up my medications. The girl in the car next to us had the cutest dog, so when she saw me smiling and pointing, she rolled down her window so I could see him. Claim? Strike up a convo, and ask her what kind of puppy he was! Schnauser.
Day 349 It was two days after my surgery and I was bleeding whenever I went to the bathroom, which hadn't happend before. As directed previously by the nurse, I called the doctor. She was completely rude--talking down to me and interrupting me with an answer before hearing the entire question. In the past, I'd get intimidated in such a situation, accept the limited answers I'd received, and end the conversation. But, during this journey of claiming I'd say I've found a little thing called "gumption." I stood my ground and firmly yet professionally reworded or reasked my questions. Amazingly, I finally got my questions answered and hung up--educated and annoyed.
Day 350 This has been such a refreshing summer--one of growth, healthy habits, and self-discovery. In attempt to hold on to these progress on stepping stones, I decided to make a list of the priorities, habits, and daily decisions I made this summer that brought about such changes. Hopefully, reading it throughout the school year will help me maintain this transformation!
Day 351 Something new: let a guy friend come over and hang out with my mom and me even though the rest of "the group" wasn't available. We had a blast laughing together, sharing stories, and watching "The Bounty Hunter." Praise the Lord for male friendships!
Lesson: Eventually, claiming becomes natural!
Day 346 Standing at my kitchen sink doing dishes, I found myself staring out the window at the gorgeous day. Knowing the summer was quickly ending, I called up a friend to see if she wanted to go canoeing (a summer activity I've wanted to do for the past few summers!). The lake was peaceful and still. Little did I know what chaos was coming the next day!
Day 347 Severe abdominal pain and constant throwing up found me making friends with my bathroom sink. This was the first time in my life (literally) that I'd ever thrown up. After over four hours of trying to survive, I knew I needed to brave my fears and go to the emergency room. Appendicitis landed me in surgery that night and a 24-hour hospital stay. So much for our first big family vacation in 17 years!! We were to leave the following morning.
Day 348 Going home from the hospital, we had go through the drive-through at Walgreens to pick up my medications. The girl in the car next to us had the cutest dog, so when she saw me smiling and pointing, she rolled down her window so I could see him. Claim? Strike up a convo, and ask her what kind of puppy he was! Schnauser.
Day 349 It was two days after my surgery and I was bleeding whenever I went to the bathroom, which hadn't happend before. As directed previously by the nurse, I called the doctor. She was completely rude--talking down to me and interrupting me with an answer before hearing the entire question. In the past, I'd get intimidated in such a situation, accept the limited answers I'd received, and end the conversation. But, during this journey of claiming I'd say I've found a little thing called "gumption." I stood my ground and firmly yet professionally reworded or reasked my questions. Amazingly, I finally got my questions answered and hung up--educated and annoyed.
Day 350 This has been such a refreshing summer--one of growth, healthy habits, and self-discovery. In attempt to hold on to these progress on stepping stones, I decided to make a list of the priorities, habits, and daily decisions I made this summer that brought about such changes. Hopefully, reading it throughout the school year will help me maintain this transformation!
Day 351 Something new: let a guy friend come over and hang out with my mom and me even though the rest of "the group" wasn't available. We had a blast laughing together, sharing stories, and watching "The Bounty Hunter." Praise the Lord for male friendships!
Lesson: Eventually, claiming becomes natural!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Summer Part 3
Day 338 Time to get all my debt under control! Typed up a list of my smallest debts and came up with a plan of how pay them off A.S.A.P.! I printed it off and put it in a place where I'd see it often to help remind me to be financially responsible and get free!
Day 339 Ever since I joined the church choir, one of the older women who I've become friends with has been inviting me to various art shows/galleries that include her artwork. Today I finally went! When I left, I felt like I'd walked through a journey of my soul. Each artist had included a typed description of the inspiration and process behind their piece, and it brought the artwork alive and left me totally inspired to live and to create. I can't even describe how great it felt to call her on the way home and tell her that I'd just gone to see the exhibit... Maybe it is better to give than to receive!
Day 340 I was beaten down in shame, discouragement, and fear. Tonight at choir the director/pastor stopped rehearsal to give a short message (which he does sometimes); it was all about fear/worry. He read several verses about it and then did something that I haven't ever seen him do. He said, "I want anyone here that is struggling with fear or worry to stand up right now and we're going to pray for you." Without even taking time to think, I jumped to my feet, and noticed I was the first one up. Like a ripple effect, people across the choir started to stand. Tears came as they laid hands on me and prayed. I ended up sharing my struggles with the woman I described above. This whole experience showed me the growth that has come through this journey of claiming--more and more, I am seizing moments without debate or hesitation. I needed this!!!
Day 341 How often have you been driving on a scenic route and just wanted to pull over and take it all in? I'm sure if you're like me, it's been hundreds of times. On my journey home to my parents' today, I decided to take the time to take it in; I'd just driven around a curve to find beautiful green hills and fields on my left, grasses and trees lightly swaying. I pulled the car over to the side of the road, opened my window, and stared, trying to remember that beautiful picture. Though this probably only last five minutes due to the heat pouring in my window, it was enough to enjoy the serenity that only the beautiful outdoors can bring.
Day 342 A rainy, lazy day at my parents house; the perfect opportunity to escape into a good book! I decided to lay there all day, guilt-free, and read without letting myself feel like I was wasting the entire day. This was a big step for me because when I go home I usually feel bad taking time for myself. I must say: This was wonderful! Do this!!
Day 343 Tired. Not feeling social, and especially not feeling like meeting new people and having to make conversation. You know how it is. Tonight I was to go to a birthday party for a new girl friend where I knew I wouldn't know anyone. I was tempted to back out, but knew I needed to claim it and be there for her, especially since there were only going to bve four or five of us there. I ended up having a bonding conversation with a girl there who is also older and single, having digestion/health issues, and dealing with the stresses of major finanical struggles. The Lord encouraged me by using me to encourage her. It was a good reminder that God can and WILL use the struggles we go through for His glory!
Day 344 How many times do we get asked, "How are you?" in a day, and answer with some canned response that totally covers over our true mood or emotional state? And how many times do we ask someone how they're doing and then not really take the time to find out? I was presented with this opportunity this morning at church... Another single girl that I'm getting to know through choir was walking by me, and when I greeted her and asked her how she was, her response did not match the sadness in her face. I stopped walking, and asked, "Are you sure? You don't sound like you're okay." As soon as I said it, her eyes filled with tears and I reached out to hug her. She shared her struggle with loneliness and just feeling really alone. I have been there! I tried to encourage her the best I could and offered my number incase she ever wanted to hang out. Lord, make me more aware of others and give me Your heart for them!!
Lesson: life is about giving your life away
Day 339 Ever since I joined the church choir, one of the older women who I've become friends with has been inviting me to various art shows/galleries that include her artwork. Today I finally went! When I left, I felt like I'd walked through a journey of my soul. Each artist had included a typed description of the inspiration and process behind their piece, and it brought the artwork alive and left me totally inspired to live and to create. I can't even describe how great it felt to call her on the way home and tell her that I'd just gone to see the exhibit... Maybe it is better to give than to receive!
Day 340 I was beaten down in shame, discouragement, and fear. Tonight at choir the director/pastor stopped rehearsal to give a short message (which he does sometimes); it was all about fear/worry. He read several verses about it and then did something that I haven't ever seen him do. He said, "I want anyone here that is struggling with fear or worry to stand up right now and we're going to pray for you." Without even taking time to think, I jumped to my feet, and noticed I was the first one up. Like a ripple effect, people across the choir started to stand. Tears came as they laid hands on me and prayed. I ended up sharing my struggles with the woman I described above. This whole experience showed me the growth that has come through this journey of claiming--more and more, I am seizing moments without debate or hesitation. I needed this!!!
Day 341 How often have you been driving on a scenic route and just wanted to pull over and take it all in? I'm sure if you're like me, it's been hundreds of times. On my journey home to my parents' today, I decided to take the time to take it in; I'd just driven around a curve to find beautiful green hills and fields on my left, grasses and trees lightly swaying. I pulled the car over to the side of the road, opened my window, and stared, trying to remember that beautiful picture. Though this probably only last five minutes due to the heat pouring in my window, it was enough to enjoy the serenity that only the beautiful outdoors can bring.
Day 342 A rainy, lazy day at my parents house; the perfect opportunity to escape into a good book! I decided to lay there all day, guilt-free, and read without letting myself feel like I was wasting the entire day. This was a big step for me because when I go home I usually feel bad taking time for myself. I must say: This was wonderful! Do this!!
Day 343 Tired. Not feeling social, and especially not feeling like meeting new people and having to make conversation. You know how it is. Tonight I was to go to a birthday party for a new girl friend where I knew I wouldn't know anyone. I was tempted to back out, but knew I needed to claim it and be there for her, especially since there were only going to bve four or five of us there. I ended up having a bonding conversation with a girl there who is also older and single, having digestion/health issues, and dealing with the stresses of major finanical struggles. The Lord encouraged me by using me to encourage her. It was a good reminder that God can and WILL use the struggles we go through for His glory!
Day 344 How many times do we get asked, "How are you?" in a day, and answer with some canned response that totally covers over our true mood or emotional state? And how many times do we ask someone how they're doing and then not really take the time to find out? I was presented with this opportunity this morning at church... Another single girl that I'm getting to know through choir was walking by me, and when I greeted her and asked her how she was, her response did not match the sadness in her face. I stopped walking, and asked, "Are you sure? You don't sound like you're okay." As soon as I said it, her eyes filled with tears and I reached out to hug her. She shared her struggle with loneliness and just feeling really alone. I have been there! I tried to encourage her the best I could and offered my number incase she ever wanted to hang out. Lord, make me more aware of others and give me Your heart for them!!
Lesson: life is about giving your life away
Monday, July 19, 2010
Summer Part 2
Day 331 Got up the courage to call a stomach specialist (after four years of digestion issues) and schedule an appointment.
Day 332 Something new: After a year at my apartment, I finally invited my sister and her husband over to watch a movie! I usually always go to their place to "get out," but this time they came over; it was super fun to host!
Day 333 Today I decided to be pro-active and get prepared for my upcoming appointment with the stomach specialist. I typed a list of my symptoms, doctor appointments, treatments I've tried, and specific times of pain/bloating. Better to be over-prepared than not at all!
Day 334 Ever since I found out last year that every Thursday night the local Municipal Band performs a free concert in the park, I've wanted to go. Tonight I finally did! I found out that a friend of a friend plays in the band and tonight he was doing a solo. So, I invited a few girl friends, we brought our camping chairs, and enjoyed the small-town feel of pie/ice cream, families, and music in the park.
Day 335 After our music curriculum meeting today, one of my colleagues (who teaches choir at another middle school in our district) asked me and the other choir director to lunch. I really wanted to just go home and put my feet up, but I knew that it'd be good to build relationships with them. I claimed a "yes" and soon was excited about it. I talked the other choir director into coming and we ended up chatting over Chinese food. They of course asked about my love life, which could have taken all day to describe, and we chatted about ideas for the upcoming year. I was actually really glad I went!
Day 336 When I was at the concert in the park on Thursday, they announced that there was to be a special Big Band Concert tonight. So, I talked my family into going (mom was visiting) and they loved it! Claim this time? No checking my cell phone, or the time, for the entire concert. It was a nice escape!!
Day 337 A friend of our family's was having a surprise 60th Birthday party today and I really wanted to go. It'd been so long since seeing them, and I thought it'd be something fun and new to do. My mom just wanted to do something low-key, and the rest of my family wasn't going, so I knew it was up to me if we went. Sunday afternoon--everyone gets lazy and wants to relax, including me! But, I mustered up the energy and we went. It was a fun Hawaiian theme, and like a small reunion. Plus, I got to see the woman's daughter, a good friend of mine, who I haven't seen in forever!!
Lesson: Don't put things off so long!
Day 332 Something new: After a year at my apartment, I finally invited my sister and her husband over to watch a movie! I usually always go to their place to "get out," but this time they came over; it was super fun to host!
Day 333 Today I decided to be pro-active and get prepared for my upcoming appointment with the stomach specialist. I typed a list of my symptoms, doctor appointments, treatments I've tried, and specific times of pain/bloating. Better to be over-prepared than not at all!
Day 334 Ever since I found out last year that every Thursday night the local Municipal Band performs a free concert in the park, I've wanted to go. Tonight I finally did! I found out that a friend of a friend plays in the band and tonight he was doing a solo. So, I invited a few girl friends, we brought our camping chairs, and enjoyed the small-town feel of pie/ice cream, families, and music in the park.
Day 335 After our music curriculum meeting today, one of my colleagues (who teaches choir at another middle school in our district) asked me and the other choir director to lunch. I really wanted to just go home and put my feet up, but I knew that it'd be good to build relationships with them. I claimed a "yes" and soon was excited about it. I talked the other choir director into coming and we ended up chatting over Chinese food. They of course asked about my love life, which could have taken all day to describe, and we chatted about ideas for the upcoming year. I was actually really glad I went!
Day 336 When I was at the concert in the park on Thursday, they announced that there was to be a special Big Band Concert tonight. So, I talked my family into going (mom was visiting) and they loved it! Claim this time? No checking my cell phone, or the time, for the entire concert. It was a nice escape!!
Day 337 A friend of our family's was having a surprise 60th Birthday party today and I really wanted to go. It'd been so long since seeing them, and I thought it'd be something fun and new to do. My mom just wanted to do something low-key, and the rest of my family wasn't going, so I knew it was up to me if we went. Sunday afternoon--everyone gets lazy and wants to relax, including me! But, I mustered up the energy and we went. It was a fun Hawaiian theme, and like a small reunion. Plus, I got to see the woman's daughter, a good friend of mine, who I haven't seen in forever!!
Lesson: Don't put things off so long!
Monday, July 12, 2010
Summer Part 1
Day 324 I was lonely and sad about a certain someone after volleyball tonight. Instead of moping around the house, I went out for an actual run (NO walking)--the first one in years; it felt great!!
Day 325 I'd won a $75 skincare gift from Mario Tricoci at a girls' night and just didn't need it; skincare is not something you want to change once you're happy with a product! Although the manager would not return it, I left proud that I'd gotten up the gumption to have a rather long conversation with her about it. So now what do I do with it??
Day 326 My storage unit is a mess--everything piled on top of each other makes it a dreaded chore to get something out from the bottom. Today I tackled the mess and totally organized it! What a great feeling!
Day 327 When driving home I heard a radio advertisement for a Chicago Fun Packet that includes maps, calendars of events, and free passes to places in Chicago. I claimed it, wrote down the e-mail address given to request a packet, and emailed them right away!
Day 328 Dinner plans at Cheesecake Factory with a guy friend who I havent seen in a year brought me to Woodfield tonight. Now, you know I hate confrontation. Amidst a tense part of the conversation, when he finally asked why I seemed so defensive, I claimed brutal honesty and firmly yet politey spoke my mind. After talking through it, we enjoyed dinner and strolling through the mall. I couldn't help feeling proud of myself for opening up.
Day 329 Have you ever been driving on a sunny day, landed under a rain cloud, and just a few minutes later escaped into sunshine again? We were romanced with a beautiful double rainbow today and I took the time to silently thank the Lord for His promises to me/us. Before falling asleep, I again thanked Him for specific promises. I'm sure I drifted off with a smile on my lips.
Day 330 A girl friend was visiting for four days and I was exhausted. My Sunday morning alarm went off and I just couldn't do it. I woke up shortly after, knowing I needed to claim my commitment to the music ministry and church and get my toosh to choir. Although I missed the 8am rehearsal, I made it in time for both services!
Lesson: Life is about the little choices
Day 325 I'd won a $75 skincare gift from Mario Tricoci at a girls' night and just didn't need it; skincare is not something you want to change once you're happy with a product! Although the manager would not return it, I left proud that I'd gotten up the gumption to have a rather long conversation with her about it. So now what do I do with it??
Day 326 My storage unit is a mess--everything piled on top of each other makes it a dreaded chore to get something out from the bottom. Today I tackled the mess and totally organized it! What a great feeling!
Day 327 When driving home I heard a radio advertisement for a Chicago Fun Packet that includes maps, calendars of events, and free passes to places in Chicago. I claimed it, wrote down the e-mail address given to request a packet, and emailed them right away!
Day 328 Dinner plans at Cheesecake Factory with a guy friend who I havent seen in a year brought me to Woodfield tonight. Now, you know I hate confrontation. Amidst a tense part of the conversation, when he finally asked why I seemed so defensive, I claimed brutal honesty and firmly yet politey spoke my mind. After talking through it, we enjoyed dinner and strolling through the mall. I couldn't help feeling proud of myself for opening up.
Day 329 Have you ever been driving on a sunny day, landed under a rain cloud, and just a few minutes later escaped into sunshine again? We were romanced with a beautiful double rainbow today and I took the time to silently thank the Lord for His promises to me/us. Before falling asleep, I again thanked Him for specific promises. I'm sure I drifted off with a smile on my lips.
Day 330 A girl friend was visiting for four days and I was exhausted. My Sunday morning alarm went off and I just couldn't do it. I woke up shortly after, knowing I needed to claim my commitment to the music ministry and church and get my toosh to choir. Although I missed the 8am rehearsal, I made it in time for both services!
Lesson: Life is about the little choices
Sunday, July 4, 2010
School's Out! Part 5
Day 317 My sister called and invited me to lay out at the pool with her, and eventhough I wasn't in the mood to because I wanted to be productive, I found myself choosing time with her and enjoying the sunny weather over accomplishing my "schedule." I was surprised that the decision was so easy and we ended up having one of the best, most personal convos we've had in a long time. I noticed afterward that she called me a lot more throughout the week to hang out; it felt nice!
Day 318 I was lonely. We'd finished playing sandvolleyball, went to Portillo's with the group, and I just didn't want to be alone. A certain someone was being distant, I needed people, and I knew I needed to claim the night instead of the mood claiming me. So, I invited myself over to my sisters to watch a movie--the three of us huddled around the Redbox until we found our selection and then relaxed on the couch for a late-night movie. By the time I got in bed, I was so tired that I crashed out without the chance of loneliness to return.
Day 319 There is something totally freeing about cleaning out your wallet, lining your many credit cards (yes, plural) on the kitchen counter, and chopping them up with a shiny pair of scissors. Debt be gone!!
Day 320 A certain choir girl who I've been trying to reach out to, who doesn't really talk to me at all, totally shocked me--I was one of seven people that she handed an invitation to, inviting us to a free movie at the Hollywood Palms dinner movie theater! She'd won 8 tickets and wanted to bring ME! Tonight we went to the movie, and even though I'd already seen it, I kept that to myself and went along for the fun. It was a blast, and she even hugged me when we left!!
Day 321 Today I experienced the most physical pain I've ever had in my life--severe piercing in my stomach and so much bloating I thought I'd burst. I stood over the sink, feeling like I was going to throw up, crying and praying for the Lord's help. I could barely move it was so painful. No one was around to help me, and I was left to face it alone. After barely being able to get out, "Help me, Jesus!" I realized I needed to put my mind on Him, not the pain. I claimed the moment and began to shout thanksgiving and praise to His name as the tears came. I began to sing worship songs and thank Him for who He is. I distinctly remember all of a sudden being very aware that HE was there, and He was holding me in His hand, and that was better than any physical person or doctor. After about 20 or 25 minutes, the pain left. Little by little, the bloating decreased and the scare was over.
Day 322 I (finally) mailed out a letter and up-to-date photos of my family and me to a dear elderly lady, my "grandma," I sent a Christmas card to over the holidays. She'd written back and I had her letter laying on my desk for months, awaiting a much-deserved reply. Funny, how life gets away from us.
Day 323 My close friends who just got married came to visit. They are fun, crazy, and goofy all in one! It was already past 10pm or 11pm and they decided they wanted to get pizza and punch. I was very tired. Totally not in the mood to go. When my sister volunteered to go with them, I knew I needed to claim it instead of being lazy and sitting on the couch staring at the wall or snoozing. All of us (my sister, brother-in-law, their big dog, my two friends, and I) piled in the little Honda and sped off to SuperWalmart. We ended up having a blast, as the my friends brought along their new video camera and were narrating the entire experience. I haven't laughed like that in a long time!!
Lesson: A claim will not be regretted
Day 318 I was lonely. We'd finished playing sandvolleyball, went to Portillo's with the group, and I just didn't want to be alone. A certain someone was being distant, I needed people, and I knew I needed to claim the night instead of the mood claiming me. So, I invited myself over to my sisters to watch a movie--the three of us huddled around the Redbox until we found our selection and then relaxed on the couch for a late-night movie. By the time I got in bed, I was so tired that I crashed out without the chance of loneliness to return.
Day 319 There is something totally freeing about cleaning out your wallet, lining your many credit cards (yes, plural) on the kitchen counter, and chopping them up with a shiny pair of scissors. Debt be gone!!
Day 320 A certain choir girl who I've been trying to reach out to, who doesn't really talk to me at all, totally shocked me--I was one of seven people that she handed an invitation to, inviting us to a free movie at the Hollywood Palms dinner movie theater! She'd won 8 tickets and wanted to bring ME! Tonight we went to the movie, and even though I'd already seen it, I kept that to myself and went along for the fun. It was a blast, and she even hugged me when we left!!
Day 321 Today I experienced the most physical pain I've ever had in my life--severe piercing in my stomach and so much bloating I thought I'd burst. I stood over the sink, feeling like I was going to throw up, crying and praying for the Lord's help. I could barely move it was so painful. No one was around to help me, and I was left to face it alone. After barely being able to get out, "Help me, Jesus!" I realized I needed to put my mind on Him, not the pain. I claimed the moment and began to shout thanksgiving and praise to His name as the tears came. I began to sing worship songs and thank Him for who He is. I distinctly remember all of a sudden being very aware that HE was there, and He was holding me in His hand, and that was better than any physical person or doctor. After about 20 or 25 minutes, the pain left. Little by little, the bloating decreased and the scare was over.
Day 322 I (finally) mailed out a letter and up-to-date photos of my family and me to a dear elderly lady, my "grandma," I sent a Christmas card to over the holidays. She'd written back and I had her letter laying on my desk for months, awaiting a much-deserved reply. Funny, how life gets away from us.
Day 323 My close friends who just got married came to visit. They are fun, crazy, and goofy all in one! It was already past 10pm or 11pm and they decided they wanted to get pizza and punch. I was very tired. Totally not in the mood to go. When my sister volunteered to go with them, I knew I needed to claim it instead of being lazy and sitting on the couch staring at the wall or snoozing. All of us (my sister, brother-in-law, their big dog, my two friends, and I) piled in the little Honda and sped off to SuperWalmart. We ended up having a blast, as the my friends brought along their new video camera and were narrating the entire experience. I haven't laughed like that in a long time!!
Lesson: A claim will not be regretted
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
School's Out! Part 4
Day 310 Came home from the wedding weekend and committed to typing up all of my realizations about wedding planning and wedding details so that I would remember them for the day I get married.
Day 311 A friend showed up in the morning to go walking (miscommunication) and we ended up chatting in my livingroom. When she mentioned wanting to go see a matinee movie I seized the moment, and a few hours later left the theater totally inspired to follow my heart about a career change.
Day 312 Claimed my sister's birthday over ministry, and the worship pastor was very supportive and understanding about it. I also emailed the Chris Tomlin website and asked how to send them songs I've written for him to consider using. You never know unless you try, right?
Day 313 Went to Kohl's to buy a slip so that I was "safe" when singing under the stage lights for worship team. Ladies--a slip. I haven't worn one since I was a little girl! I found myself standing infront of a wall of choices, not sure what material, cut, etc. was the best. Another customer came around the corner and began sifting through them too. After a few seconds, I decided to just go for it. So I introduced myself and asked her for her opinion/help. She opened right up with advice, memories of slips from the "old days" when she first wore them, etc. I couldn't helping smiling as I went to make my purchase.
Day 314 Camping with the family--I was the only one that chose to "rough it" in a tent! With the "zero percent chance of rain" forecast, I didn't think to ask for a tarp to go with the tent I borrowed from my brother. At 2:00am I woke up to sprinkles bouncing on my face through the top of the tent. Got creative: snuck out and grabbed the water-proof picnic table tablecloth and the clamps that held it in place and monkeyed together a tarp to cover my tent. A few hours later I awoke to the sound of pouring rain. My sister kept calling me from the camper to see if I wanted to join them, but I was determined. It wasn't until the third time, when I awoke to loud thunder and lightning and a water in the corners of my tent that I had to retreat to the camper. The four of us (my sister, brother-in-law, their wheaton terrier, and me) slept like sardines in the air conditioning of the tiny, two-person camper until morning.
Day 315 Tonight I felt very rejected by a friend that I just wanted to spend time with. I drove home, the sadness turning to bitterness. Claimed the conversation: prayed first, called them, and the Lord totally helped me communicate it calmly. After talking through it, the burden was lifted and it no longer boiled in me, ruining my Saturday night. I enjoyed the rest of the evening at peace in my little apartment.
Day 316 Remember how I emailed the worship pastor one of the songs I've written, as he's looking for new music to use in church? Well, I never heard back from him. Today I decided to "try, try again." This time, I actually sent him a song just for some basic feedback on if the tune sounded original to him, not to see if he wanted to use it. Don't give up, right?!
Lesson: only you can choose to live your life
Day 311 A friend showed up in the morning to go walking (miscommunication) and we ended up chatting in my livingroom. When she mentioned wanting to go see a matinee movie I seized the moment, and a few hours later left the theater totally inspired to follow my heart about a career change.
Day 312 Claimed my sister's birthday over ministry, and the worship pastor was very supportive and understanding about it. I also emailed the Chris Tomlin website and asked how to send them songs I've written for him to consider using. You never know unless you try, right?
Day 313 Went to Kohl's to buy a slip so that I was "safe" when singing under the stage lights for worship team. Ladies--a slip. I haven't worn one since I was a little girl! I found myself standing infront of a wall of choices, not sure what material, cut, etc. was the best. Another customer came around the corner and began sifting through them too. After a few seconds, I decided to just go for it. So I introduced myself and asked her for her opinion/help. She opened right up with advice, memories of slips from the "old days" when she first wore them, etc. I couldn't helping smiling as I went to make my purchase.
Day 314 Camping with the family--I was the only one that chose to "rough it" in a tent! With the "zero percent chance of rain" forecast, I didn't think to ask for a tarp to go with the tent I borrowed from my brother. At 2:00am I woke up to sprinkles bouncing on my face through the top of the tent. Got creative: snuck out and grabbed the water-proof picnic table tablecloth and the clamps that held it in place and monkeyed together a tarp to cover my tent. A few hours later I awoke to the sound of pouring rain. My sister kept calling me from the camper to see if I wanted to join them, but I was determined. It wasn't until the third time, when I awoke to loud thunder and lightning and a water in the corners of my tent that I had to retreat to the camper. The four of us (my sister, brother-in-law, their wheaton terrier, and me) slept like sardines in the air conditioning of the tiny, two-person camper until morning.
Day 315 Tonight I felt very rejected by a friend that I just wanted to spend time with. I drove home, the sadness turning to bitterness. Claimed the conversation: prayed first, called them, and the Lord totally helped me communicate it calmly. After talking through it, the burden was lifted and it no longer boiled in me, ruining my Saturday night. I enjoyed the rest of the evening at peace in my little apartment.
Day 316 Remember how I emailed the worship pastor one of the songs I've written, as he's looking for new music to use in church? Well, I never heard back from him. Today I decided to "try, try again." This time, I actually sent him a song just for some basic feedback on if the tune sounded original to him, not to see if he wanted to use it. Don't give up, right?!
Lesson: only you can choose to live your life
Friday, June 25, 2010
School's Out! Part 3
Day 303 Had plans to meet at Starbucks with a new friend from choir. Wanted to be selfish and just do my own thing during the afternoon, and was under spiritual attack about getting together with her for some reason. I took time to worship and get out of my bad mood; we had such a good time, and a very encouraging, bonding conversation about life, struggles, choir, our calling, and the Lord! I'm so glad I went!!
Day 304 Today I finally checked off a three-year goal from my mental "To Do" list; I visited our local public library (known as the best library in the United States) and got a library card!!
Day 305 Since last summer when I discovered our local beach/pool I wanted to get a summer pass, but whenever it came to mind I either didn't have the time or didn't have the money. Today I had both, purchased my much-awaited pass, and enjoyed the afternoon lounging poolside with some girl friends.
Day 306 This weekend is the big wedding!! Today the bride called to see if I could come a day early, meaning TODAY, and help her move into her new apartment. Claimed it, enjoyed it! It was fun to have some time alone with the bride, see their new place, and just be there for her and her husband-to-be.
Day 307 Girls can be catty. At the bachelorette party today I had to remind myself that a particular girl was 10 years younger than me and to just be the bigger person. Slowly, kindness won out.
Day 308 Day before the wedding! The bride had planned to be baptised in water at NOON. I was tired, feeling lazy, and just exhausted from the run around. I honestly wanted to just stay home (well, at the apartment of the friend I was staying with) and just relax. I thought about the future and how I knew I'd look back and regret it if I wasn't there for such an important event. I got to meet so many of their friends and family that I've heard about all these years, and the presence of the Lord was so strong! They asked me to lead everyone in worship, and then the bride tearfully read a Psalm and expressed her love for Jesus. I was so proud of her and her fiance (I was their youth group mentor through jr. high and high school) and so glad I chose to join her close family and friends in support of her decision to go deeper with Jesus Christ.
Day 309 The WEDDING DAY! The bride and I left at 8:00am to make it downtown Milwaukee for our hear appointments on time. I was really tired from all the planning, running around, and events of the weekend, and prayed for strength for the day. When I went to the restroom, I passed a spa area with inviting cushioned beds with stacks of magazines in the lounge of the spa. It looked so comfortable and the peaceful spa music pulled me in. It'd be okay to use the spa, right? I laid down on the comfy bed, closed my eyes, and escaped into peaceful bliss. Though it was only for about five minutes, I got up rejuvinated and ready for the long day ahead.
Lesson: now's the time--do it!
Day 304 Today I finally checked off a three-year goal from my mental "To Do" list; I visited our local public library (known as the best library in the United States) and got a library card!!
Day 305 Since last summer when I discovered our local beach/pool I wanted to get a summer pass, but whenever it came to mind I either didn't have the time or didn't have the money. Today I had both, purchased my much-awaited pass, and enjoyed the afternoon lounging poolside with some girl friends.
Day 306 This weekend is the big wedding!! Today the bride called to see if I could come a day early, meaning TODAY, and help her move into her new apartment. Claimed it, enjoyed it! It was fun to have some time alone with the bride, see their new place, and just be there for her and her husband-to-be.
Day 307 Girls can be catty. At the bachelorette party today I had to remind myself that a particular girl was 10 years younger than me and to just be the bigger person. Slowly, kindness won out.
Day 308 Day before the wedding! The bride had planned to be baptised in water at NOON. I was tired, feeling lazy, and just exhausted from the run around. I honestly wanted to just stay home (well, at the apartment of the friend I was staying with) and just relax. I thought about the future and how I knew I'd look back and regret it if I wasn't there for such an important event. I got to meet so many of their friends and family that I've heard about all these years, and the presence of the Lord was so strong! They asked me to lead everyone in worship, and then the bride tearfully read a Psalm and expressed her love for Jesus. I was so proud of her and her fiance (I was their youth group mentor through jr. high and high school) and so glad I chose to join her close family and friends in support of her decision to go deeper with Jesus Christ.
Day 309 The WEDDING DAY! The bride and I left at 8:00am to make it downtown Milwaukee for our hear appointments on time. I was really tired from all the planning, running around, and events of the weekend, and prayed for strength for the day. When I went to the restroom, I passed a spa area with inviting cushioned beds with stacks of magazines in the lounge of the spa. It looked so comfortable and the peaceful spa music pulled me in. It'd be okay to use the spa, right? I laid down on the comfy bed, closed my eyes, and escaped into peaceful bliss. Though it was only for about five minutes, I got up rejuvinated and ready for the long day ahead.
Lesson: now's the time--do it!
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
School's Out! Part 2
Day 296 Tonight at our sand volleyball game we were missing a player and for some reason going down to five players totally threw us off; we got demolished by a team that we beat last year! Claim? Choose to not let it put me in a bad mood and definitely NOT let it ruin my night. I'd decided ahead of time to not order any food after the game, but letting go and enjoying a jumbo pretzel (with cheese) and a rootbeer, and chatting with my friends, was just what I needed! It ended up being a fun night!
Day 297 For four years I've been having a lot of problems with my digestion. I've gone to doctors and chiropracters, gotten blood tests and done body cleanses, and still have not found a solution. I recently was told that fiber is extremely important in the process of digestion and got an e-mail from a friend with links to fiber-rich foods. Instead of pushing it off as a "to-do later" task, I decided to actually follow through, read through the articles, and print off the lists of fiber-rich foods. I put them on my refrigerator as a reminder, and also crammed a lot of fiber into my diet today: two fiber bars, two apples, baby carrots, and raisin bran.
Day 298 A few weeks ago I borrowed a captivating book by Nicholas Sparks called "The Choice" from my sister-in-law. It pulled me in immediately, but when I got two-thirds of the way through and things started getting sad, I had to put it down. Life is already sad enough at times; I wanted to escape into bliss, not be weighed down by another tragic story. It sat on my coffee table for the next few weeks, pleading me to read but I couldn't enter that world again. Finally, I decided it was time. Today, I grabbed the book, my hot pink lawn chair, and some ice water, and laid out in my back yard determined to finish it. There were some tears, but they were good tears, and when I closed the book I was inspired to hold onto hope for true love.
Day 299 What is it about reading a book in bed, lit only by the gleam of a flashlight, that brings excitement and a sense of adventure?? Tonight I escaped into the inspiring words of the devotional "The Princess Warrior" before clicking off the flashlight and falling asleep...
Day 300 Tonight at a girl friend's wedding my drink was taken away by the waitress while I was over talking to the bride and groom. I realized it as soon as I returned to the table with my mouth watering for the juicy cherry at the bottom of my glass. I debated for a minute, mustered up some gumption, and then went up to the bartender and explained my "tragic" story; the free drink, with more plump cherries at the bottom, was delicious!
Day 301 New people. New places to go. Today it was to a baseball game party with a girl friend of mine who is involved in a young adult's group at a different church. Didn't want to go, but got myself into the social mindset. This claim didn't work. Although I meet new people and enjoyed some conversation, I left missing the attention and close companionship of a certain someone. How long, Lord?
Day 302 After ruling out the mission trip I'd called the church about (due to finances and the short deadline), I read about a "Steps of Paul" trip and felt pressed to go. I love the life and ministry of Paul, and knew it had to be a prettyh amazing trip. I must admit it felt great driving to the church knowing I was finally attending an informational meeting there (for the past three years there have been meetings I've thought of going to but considered it an inconvenience and instead would head home for a relaxing Sunday afternoon). The meeting was refreshing, inspiring, and motivating. The trip was a cruise through Greece, Turkey, and Italy. I was at least 20-30 years younger than everyone there, but it was exciting to see the vacation the various couples could take due to comfortable financial situations and an open schedule (the two-week trip is in the middle of the school year for me). I left sad for my parents and for myself, but also hopeful at the thought of a bright future.
Lesson: lead your life; don't let it lead you.
Day 297 For four years I've been having a lot of problems with my digestion. I've gone to doctors and chiropracters, gotten blood tests and done body cleanses, and still have not found a solution. I recently was told that fiber is extremely important in the process of digestion and got an e-mail from a friend with links to fiber-rich foods. Instead of pushing it off as a "to-do later" task, I decided to actually follow through, read through the articles, and print off the lists of fiber-rich foods. I put them on my refrigerator as a reminder, and also crammed a lot of fiber into my diet today: two fiber bars, two apples, baby carrots, and raisin bran.
Day 298 A few weeks ago I borrowed a captivating book by Nicholas Sparks called "The Choice" from my sister-in-law. It pulled me in immediately, but when I got two-thirds of the way through and things started getting sad, I had to put it down. Life is already sad enough at times; I wanted to escape into bliss, not be weighed down by another tragic story. It sat on my coffee table for the next few weeks, pleading me to read but I couldn't enter that world again. Finally, I decided it was time. Today, I grabbed the book, my hot pink lawn chair, and some ice water, and laid out in my back yard determined to finish it. There were some tears, but they were good tears, and when I closed the book I was inspired to hold onto hope for true love.
Day 299 What is it about reading a book in bed, lit only by the gleam of a flashlight, that brings excitement and a sense of adventure?? Tonight I escaped into the inspiring words of the devotional "The Princess Warrior" before clicking off the flashlight and falling asleep...
Day 300 Tonight at a girl friend's wedding my drink was taken away by the waitress while I was over talking to the bride and groom. I realized it as soon as I returned to the table with my mouth watering for the juicy cherry at the bottom of my glass. I debated for a minute, mustered up some gumption, and then went up to the bartender and explained my "tragic" story; the free drink, with more plump cherries at the bottom, was delicious!
Day 301 New people. New places to go. Today it was to a baseball game party with a girl friend of mine who is involved in a young adult's group at a different church. Didn't want to go, but got myself into the social mindset. This claim didn't work. Although I meet new people and enjoyed some conversation, I left missing the attention and close companionship of a certain someone. How long, Lord?
Day 302 After ruling out the mission trip I'd called the church about (due to finances and the short deadline), I read about a "Steps of Paul" trip and felt pressed to go. I love the life and ministry of Paul, and knew it had to be a prettyh amazing trip. I must admit it felt great driving to the church knowing I was finally attending an informational meeting there (for the past three years there have been meetings I've thought of going to but considered it an inconvenience and instead would head home for a relaxing Sunday afternoon). The meeting was refreshing, inspiring, and motivating. The trip was a cruise through Greece, Turkey, and Italy. I was at least 20-30 years younger than everyone there, but it was exciting to see the vacation the various couples could take due to comfortable financial situations and an open schedule (the two-week trip is in the middle of the school year for me). I left sad for my parents and for myself, but also hopeful at the thought of a bright future.
Lesson: lead your life; don't let it lead you.
Friday, June 18, 2010
School's Out! Part 1
Day 289 Have you ever tried fresh cherries? Not the sweet ones in the jar, but the real ones? At my brother's grillout today, my sister convinced me to try them (as she recently discovered them). Delicious! I couldn't stop popping them into my mouth! All these years I've been settling for second best.
Day 290 Why does Super Walmart have over 20 registers and only keep four or five lines open at a time?? Does anyone else get totally frustrated about this? Today my patience was being tested, and my perspective was challenged when the young guy infront of me was very patient and friendly with the cashier. It inspired me to change my mood;I chose to pray for him and for the cashier. It helped. A little.
Day 291 Choir practice, still trying to reach out to this particular girl. I must admit I gave up for a while and just gave her space, but tonight I decided to find a way to honestly compliment her. I noticed her toenails were painted a super cute peach color with little white flowers so I threw out the compliment and we talked a little. One step at a time, right?
Day 292 When I read in our church brochure about an upcoming missions trip to Georgia, I thought, "Why not??" I've never gone on one before. Have you? Today I called the church and left a message requesting more info about the trip. We'll see if it works out!!
Day 293 Tonight I was visiting some friends in Milwaukee and when I got back to their house from having dinner with a girl friend, several of their friends (who I've never met) were hanging out in the livingroom, relaxing and chatting. Somehow my passion for worship ministry came up and next thing I knew they were beggin me to sing one of the songs I've written. Usually I don't like performing "on the spot" but with this new journey of claiming, I found myself saying "sure" and I sang a song I'm working on about Psalm 40. I shared a little about the psalm and then sang it, and it really seemed to change the direction of the conversation--soon we were all talking about the Lord and how amazing He is. I guess you never know when God will use you!
Day 294 Today, as the Maid of Honor for an upcoming wedding, I threw a "Pretty in Pink" bridal shower for the bride. None of the bridesmaids could come, so I did almost everything by myself, which you know is quite stressful if you've ever helped with a shower before! I finally had to let go of my stress and frustrated mood--I didn't want it to ruin my day. So, I chose to do something about it instead of giving in to it. I grabbed some worship cd's from my car and blasted the music while I decorated. It took a lot of work to try to pray and thank the Lord, but I tried. Even just singing along helped. Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness!
Day 295 A new friend from choir was having a grill-out/party today for passing her citizenship interview. I was feeling lazy and selfishly didn't want to go... Lounging around my house sounded more enjoyable for my Sunday afternoon, but I claimed it and had to reclaim it instead of backing out when it started pouring down rain. Praise the Lord that I went! He sent an angel to speak into me the words that I needed, the prayers that I needed, the GRACE that I needed. I left with the reminder that I am so loved by Jesus!
Lesson: when you choose to do actions that go against your mood, your mood will often follow it!
Day 290 Why does Super Walmart have over 20 registers and only keep four or five lines open at a time?? Does anyone else get totally frustrated about this? Today my patience was being tested, and my perspective was challenged when the young guy infront of me was very patient and friendly with the cashier. It inspired me to change my mood;I chose to pray for him and for the cashier. It helped. A little.
Day 291 Choir practice, still trying to reach out to this particular girl. I must admit I gave up for a while and just gave her space, but tonight I decided to find a way to honestly compliment her. I noticed her toenails were painted a super cute peach color with little white flowers so I threw out the compliment and we talked a little. One step at a time, right?
Day 292 When I read in our church brochure about an upcoming missions trip to Georgia, I thought, "Why not??" I've never gone on one before. Have you? Today I called the church and left a message requesting more info about the trip. We'll see if it works out!!
Day 293 Tonight I was visiting some friends in Milwaukee and when I got back to their house from having dinner with a girl friend, several of their friends (who I've never met) were hanging out in the livingroom, relaxing and chatting. Somehow my passion for worship ministry came up and next thing I knew they were beggin me to sing one of the songs I've written. Usually I don't like performing "on the spot" but with this new journey of claiming, I found myself saying "sure" and I sang a song I'm working on about Psalm 40. I shared a little about the psalm and then sang it, and it really seemed to change the direction of the conversation--soon we were all talking about the Lord and how amazing He is. I guess you never know when God will use you!
Day 294 Today, as the Maid of Honor for an upcoming wedding, I threw a "Pretty in Pink" bridal shower for the bride. None of the bridesmaids could come, so I did almost everything by myself, which you know is quite stressful if you've ever helped with a shower before! I finally had to let go of my stress and frustrated mood--I didn't want it to ruin my day. So, I chose to do something about it instead of giving in to it. I grabbed some worship cd's from my car and blasted the music while I decorated. It took a lot of work to try to pray and thank the Lord, but I tried. Even just singing along helped. Thank you, Lord, for your faithfulness!
Day 295 A new friend from choir was having a grill-out/party today for passing her citizenship interview. I was feeling lazy and selfishly didn't want to go... Lounging around my house sounded more enjoyable for my Sunday afternoon, but I claimed it and had to reclaim it instead of backing out when it started pouring down rain. Praise the Lord that I went! He sent an angel to speak into me the words that I needed, the prayers that I needed, the GRACE that I needed. I left with the reminder that I am so loved by Jesus!
Lesson: when you choose to do actions that go against your mood, your mood will often follow it!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Last Week of School
(May 24-May 30)
Day 281 I live alone. It has its perks. Perfect example: Tonight it was hot, humid, and almost unbearable. Tried something new--spent the evening sitting on my couch, doing school grading, in only my "underclothes." It was, well, freeing to say the least. :)
Day 282 Something totally NEW. Decided to join my church for their monthly outreach to an innercity church on the south side of Chicago. It reminded me a lot of a church someone I'd dated from NYC was involved in, and it drew my heart. We led worship and served food and the Lord encouraged me immensely by using me to reach a 16 yr old African American girl. We'd both gone up front (among others) for an altar call, but I didn't see her until I turned around. As soon as I said something to her, the tears came and she threw her arms around me. She cried and we prayed--she had come up front and given her heart to the Lord! I was able to encourage her, direct her where to read in the Bible, introduce her to the pastor's wife, and introduce myself to a few of the youth group girls and encourage them to go introduce themselves to her (she wasn't a regular church-goer). Before the night was over, I saw one of the girls go over and introduce themselves to her--I couldn't help but smile. I road the bus home excited to be used and inspired for more of Him.
Day 283 Said YES last week when asked by an aquaintance with Asbergers disease if I'd help him study for his upcoming music education exam. We met at the coffee shop at church tonight and went over several of the exam questions; somehow laying my life down for him boosted me. Is Joey's claim on "Friends" true? Is there really no unselfish good deed, since it makes one feel better to do something kind for another?
Day 284 Why is it that the closer I get to 30, the more I feel that my body is just plain OLD? It seems that wrinkles and blemishes are appearing, weight gain is constant, and my cute little shorts from two years ago are no where close to fitting! Today? Go RUNNING. Called up a girl friend instead of going alone, and afterward when she wanted to go for ice cream I said YES (though I really didn't want to since I just ran). That YES opened up a whole personal conversation about hurtful things from her past and present struggles. Thank you Lord for helping me to claim the important things!
Day 285 Last day of school (for students). Claimed a crucial moment to have a heart-to-heart with a 7th grade girl who, earlier in the year, had gotten up infront of the class during a speech and claimed Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior. She and some classmates had made a very irresponsible, disrespecful choice that landed them scrubbing, cleaning, dusting, and mopping my classroom for the last hour and a half of school. I dismissed them one-by-one, saving her for last. When I brought up her walk with the Lord and that everything we do is an example of who Christ is, her eyes filled with tears. It turned into a powerful discussion, ending with tears and a hug and a warm up, "Thank you, Miss!"
Day 286 A new friend from choir was having a grill-out/party today for passing her citizenship interview. I was feeling lazy and selfishly didn't want to go... Lounging around my house sounded more enjoyable for my Sunday afternoon, but I claimed it and had to reclaim it instead of backing out when it started pouring down rain. Praise the Lord that I went! He sent an angel to speak into me the words that I needed, the prayers that I needed, the GRACE that I needed. I left with the reminder that I am so loved by Jesus!
Day 287 A lovely Saturday afternoon. Was enjoying using the digital voice recorder that I'd asked for on my birthday last year (life, and the school year, kept me busy enough that it was a year later and I'd hardly used it). I got so excited with the features as I used it to compose that I claimed to share my gratitude! So, I took a moment to call my dad, tell him all about it, and thank him for buying it for me! It felt great to share the moment with someone, and to actually take the time to give a thank-you.
Day 288 My family had a sleepover at my brother and sister-in-laws house today for the holiday weekend. I was all cuddled up on the livingroom recliner, enjoying the comfy blanket and footrest, when my brother took little Noah (my new nephew) out of his baby swing to play with him on the floor. My sister bopped down next to him and asked if I wanted to join them. I was rather comfy and feeling quite lazy, and pushed away the fact that I couldn't see the little guy because my brother's back was blocking my view. A few minutes passed by. I knew I needed to live the moment while I was at their house. Many smiles and cooing came soon after (from me and my sister, not little Noah!) and the feeling was totally worth it!
Lesson: God meets you in your selflessness with a surprise every time
Day 281 I live alone. It has its perks. Perfect example: Tonight it was hot, humid, and almost unbearable. Tried something new--spent the evening sitting on my couch, doing school grading, in only my "underclothes." It was, well, freeing to say the least. :)
Day 282 Something totally NEW. Decided to join my church for their monthly outreach to an innercity church on the south side of Chicago. It reminded me a lot of a church someone I'd dated from NYC was involved in, and it drew my heart. We led worship and served food and the Lord encouraged me immensely by using me to reach a 16 yr old African American girl. We'd both gone up front (among others) for an altar call, but I didn't see her until I turned around. As soon as I said something to her, the tears came and she threw her arms around me. She cried and we prayed--she had come up front and given her heart to the Lord! I was able to encourage her, direct her where to read in the Bible, introduce her to the pastor's wife, and introduce myself to a few of the youth group girls and encourage them to go introduce themselves to her (she wasn't a regular church-goer). Before the night was over, I saw one of the girls go over and introduce themselves to her--I couldn't help but smile. I road the bus home excited to be used and inspired for more of Him.
Day 283 Said YES last week when asked by an aquaintance with Asbergers disease if I'd help him study for his upcoming music education exam. We met at the coffee shop at church tonight and went over several of the exam questions; somehow laying my life down for him boosted me. Is Joey's claim on "Friends" true? Is there really no unselfish good deed, since it makes one feel better to do something kind for another?
Day 284 Why is it that the closer I get to 30, the more I feel that my body is just plain OLD? It seems that wrinkles and blemishes are appearing, weight gain is constant, and my cute little shorts from two years ago are no where close to fitting! Today? Go RUNNING. Called up a girl friend instead of going alone, and afterward when she wanted to go for ice cream I said YES (though I really didn't want to since I just ran). That YES opened up a whole personal conversation about hurtful things from her past and present struggles. Thank you Lord for helping me to claim the important things!
Day 285 Last day of school (for students). Claimed a crucial moment to have a heart-to-heart with a 7th grade girl who, earlier in the year, had gotten up infront of the class during a speech and claimed Jesus Christ as her Lord and Savior. She and some classmates had made a very irresponsible, disrespecful choice that landed them scrubbing, cleaning, dusting, and mopping my classroom for the last hour and a half of school. I dismissed them one-by-one, saving her for last. When I brought up her walk with the Lord and that everything we do is an example of who Christ is, her eyes filled with tears. It turned into a powerful discussion, ending with tears and a hug and a warm up, "Thank you, Miss!"
Day 286 A new friend from choir was having a grill-out/party today for passing her citizenship interview. I was feeling lazy and selfishly didn't want to go... Lounging around my house sounded more enjoyable for my Sunday afternoon, but I claimed it and had to reclaim it instead of backing out when it started pouring down rain. Praise the Lord that I went! He sent an angel to speak into me the words that I needed, the prayers that I needed, the GRACE that I needed. I left with the reminder that I am so loved by Jesus!
Day 287 A lovely Saturday afternoon. Was enjoying using the digital voice recorder that I'd asked for on my birthday last year (life, and the school year, kept me busy enough that it was a year later and I'd hardly used it). I got so excited with the features as I used it to compose that I claimed to share my gratitude! So, I took a moment to call my dad, tell him all about it, and thank him for buying it for me! It felt great to share the moment with someone, and to actually take the time to give a thank-you.
Day 288 My family had a sleepover at my brother and sister-in-laws house today for the holiday weekend. I was all cuddled up on the livingroom recliner, enjoying the comfy blanket and footrest, when my brother took little Noah (my new nephew) out of his baby swing to play with him on the floor. My sister bopped down next to him and asked if I wanted to join them. I was rather comfy and feeling quite lazy, and pushed away the fact that I couldn't see the little guy because my brother's back was blocking my view. A few minutes passed by. I knew I needed to live the moment while I was at their house. Many smiles and cooing came soon after (from me and my sister, not little Noah!) and the feeling was totally worth it!
Lesson: God meets you in your selflessness with a surprise every time
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Snapshots Part Five
(May 17-May 23)
Day 274 Something NEW. Registed online for my sister and I to attend our church's annual Girlfriends Night Out. The past two years whenever it was advertised at church I always thought it sounded really fun, but I never took the step to go. This year is the year!
Day 275 The middle school I teach at is a Title I school. Little parent involvement. Little student motivation. Our school did an incentive to get kids to class ontime, and today was the reward: an assembly featuring the Jesse White Tumblers!! I had a lot to get done at school and was wanting to just be focussed and productive, but I also knew I could be missing a great experience. So I went down to the gym, sat in the front row, and to be honest, was totally amazed and entertained. Have you ever seen them perform? If not, you should! This was a super fun "first" for me!
Day 276 Tonight at choir practice one of the men asked me how I ended up here in IL. I seized the moment and told him, in detail, how the Lord spoke to me to come, opened the door for my job just in time, made my heart to know He wanted me at this particular church, and what I've learned this far. It opened up a whole conversation that found us standing in the hallway sharing stories of our need and the Lord's faithfulness. I went home with a very grateful heart.
Day 277 Back to my school. The teachers at my schools work very independently; a "team" is not a good description of the atmosphere. Today I was walking by a veteran teacher's classroom (it's just around the corner from mine) and we started chatting about a student we share. He is one of my favorites and is great for me, though he is terrible for all of his other teachers. By terrible I mean really really bad. We talked for a long time, and when I started getting antsy to get back to my errands (it was after school and I just wanted to get done and go home) I had to keep reminding myself of what was more important. Several times. Isn't this what I know our school needs more of? Forty-five minutes later I was back in my room, closing down for the day. I left feeling pleased that I'd made a deeper connection with her.
Day 278 It finally came: "Girlfriends Night Out" at my church. There was over 450 women there! It was a blast introducing my sister to some of the friends I've started to make in choir (we all sat together), and was equally fun watching the pastors' "What Not to Wear" fashion show, the table decorating presentation, and an "easy cooking" demonstration. They had door prizes, and shortly after my sister and I both proclaimed that we never win anything, her raffle ticket number was called! And then, only a minute or two later, my raffle ticket number was called! We left with gifts valued over $75 each from Mario Triccoci!! It almost seemed like God was giving us a thumbs for finally making it to a church event. :) To top it off, the girl from choir that I've been "working on" is warming up, finally! She greeted me with a smile and gave me several compliments on my outfit/jewelry/etc. We all chatted and laughed the night away-the banquet room was completely empty of all decorations, food, and guests by the time we left. What a great night!
Day 279 I woke up to sun streaming through my window and the sound of birds chirping in the nearby tree. Saturday! Claim? Rollerblade! I used to rollerblad all the time, even in college, and a few years ago asked for some really expensive rollerblades for my birthday. I haven't gone in a year or two. Now's the time to get active, and pick up old hobbies. It jump-started my day with energy and excitement for summer. As I whizzed along, I took in "summer" all around me: the smell of freshly cut grass, sounds of birds chirping, vibrant landscapes of beautiful flowers, garages sales (I stopped at one, even on rollerblades!)... When I got home I laid on my bed to do a few stretches, and from that angle as I looked out the window I saw a bird's nest at the very top of my tree. I got up to peak out the window and I couldn't stop the smile luminating my face--the nest was filled with little baby birds and the mom was feeding them! I've never seen such an amazing part of nature! I found myself going back to watch the little family, even in the days following.
Day 280 Went to get a manicure and pedicure (with a guilt-free coupon) and chose to claim the moment by closing my eyes during just relaxing in the massaging chair while getting my pedicure. Just blocking out the surroundings and really appreciating the moment left me refreshed and my body totally calm.
Lesson: appreciate the moment for what it is
Day 274 Something NEW. Registed online for my sister and I to attend our church's annual Girlfriends Night Out. The past two years whenever it was advertised at church I always thought it sounded really fun, but I never took the step to go. This year is the year!
Day 275 The middle school I teach at is a Title I school. Little parent involvement. Little student motivation. Our school did an incentive to get kids to class ontime, and today was the reward: an assembly featuring the Jesse White Tumblers!! I had a lot to get done at school and was wanting to just be focussed and productive, but I also knew I could be missing a great experience. So I went down to the gym, sat in the front row, and to be honest, was totally amazed and entertained. Have you ever seen them perform? If not, you should! This was a super fun "first" for me!
Day 276 Tonight at choir practice one of the men asked me how I ended up here in IL. I seized the moment and told him, in detail, how the Lord spoke to me to come, opened the door for my job just in time, made my heart to know He wanted me at this particular church, and what I've learned this far. It opened up a whole conversation that found us standing in the hallway sharing stories of our need and the Lord's faithfulness. I went home with a very grateful heart.
Day 277 Back to my school. The teachers at my schools work very independently; a "team" is not a good description of the atmosphere. Today I was walking by a veteran teacher's classroom (it's just around the corner from mine) and we started chatting about a student we share. He is one of my favorites and is great for me, though he is terrible for all of his other teachers. By terrible I mean really really bad. We talked for a long time, and when I started getting antsy to get back to my errands (it was after school and I just wanted to get done and go home) I had to keep reminding myself of what was more important. Several times. Isn't this what I know our school needs more of? Forty-five minutes later I was back in my room, closing down for the day. I left feeling pleased that I'd made a deeper connection with her.
Day 278 It finally came: "Girlfriends Night Out" at my church. There was over 450 women there! It was a blast introducing my sister to some of the friends I've started to make in choir (we all sat together), and was equally fun watching the pastors' "What Not to Wear" fashion show, the table decorating presentation, and an "easy cooking" demonstration. They had door prizes, and shortly after my sister and I both proclaimed that we never win anything, her raffle ticket number was called! And then, only a minute or two later, my raffle ticket number was called! We left with gifts valued over $75 each from Mario Triccoci!! It almost seemed like God was giving us a thumbs for finally making it to a church event. :) To top it off, the girl from choir that I've been "working on" is warming up, finally! She greeted me with a smile and gave me several compliments on my outfit/jewelry/etc. We all chatted and laughed the night away-the banquet room was completely empty of all decorations, food, and guests by the time we left. What a great night!
Day 279 I woke up to sun streaming through my window and the sound of birds chirping in the nearby tree. Saturday! Claim? Rollerblade! I used to rollerblad all the time, even in college, and a few years ago asked for some really expensive rollerblades for my birthday. I haven't gone in a year or two. Now's the time to get active, and pick up old hobbies. It jump-started my day with energy and excitement for summer. As I whizzed along, I took in "summer" all around me: the smell of freshly cut grass, sounds of birds chirping, vibrant landscapes of beautiful flowers, garages sales (I stopped at one, even on rollerblades!)... When I got home I laid on my bed to do a few stretches, and from that angle as I looked out the window I saw a bird's nest at the very top of my tree. I got up to peak out the window and I couldn't stop the smile luminating my face--the nest was filled with little baby birds and the mom was feeding them! I've never seen such an amazing part of nature! I found myself going back to watch the little family, even in the days following.
Day 280 Went to get a manicure and pedicure (with a guilt-free coupon) and chose to claim the moment by closing my eyes during just relaxing in the massaging chair while getting my pedicure. Just blocking out the surroundings and really appreciating the moment left me refreshed and my body totally calm.
Lesson: appreciate the moment for what it is
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Snapshots Part Four
(May 10-May 16)
Day 266 Chose to be positive about our act winning the district wide teacher/staff talent show when others were negative. Result? It was water to their flame.
Day 267 I am a little OCD about some things, like how I use certain things around my apartment... For instance, my comfortable throw blanket that is navy blue on one side and golden orange on the other. I NEVER use it with the orange side up, or facing out when it's around me. NEVER. Until today. :)
Day 268 When the girl I'd made shopping plans with didn't mention it at choir practice tonight I had to claim it or lose it. So, right before leaving I went up to her and asked if she still wanted to go. It was on! Happy I asked, I drove home excited for something fun to do on Saturday.
Day 269 See "Fireflies" Entry below, dated May 13, for a complete post. :)
Day 270 So I was shopping at Kohls, it was a Friday night, and they had amazing deals. As I'm in the dressing room trying on clothes, on comes the song for our talent show act called "Say, Hey I Love You." I debated for a second and thought, "Hey, why not??" Dancing in a dressing room--now that's something I don't think I've ever done! It totally lifted the cloud I was under.
Day 271 Shopping trip to Woodfield Mall with a new friend! I've only been to Woodfield Mall one time years ago--it was sooo much fun! And, I discovered that my shopping partner lives literally only 4 or 5 minutes from my apartment!
Day 272 On a whim I'd replied to the e-vite awhile back committing myself to a grill-out today with people I barely know. When today came I was so tired from being up early for church that I wanted to take a nap and skip the party altogether. I crawled into bed and couldn't ignore the thought that I needed to stop sleeping and start living! We played volleyball, grilled out, and were fooled by the sunshine into thinking it was summer! :)
Day 266 Chose to be positive about our act winning the district wide teacher/staff talent show when others were negative. Result? It was water to their flame.
Day 267 I am a little OCD about some things, like how I use certain things around my apartment... For instance, my comfortable throw blanket that is navy blue on one side and golden orange on the other. I NEVER use it with the orange side up, or facing out when it's around me. NEVER. Until today. :)
Day 268 When the girl I'd made shopping plans with didn't mention it at choir practice tonight I had to claim it or lose it. So, right before leaving I went up to her and asked if she still wanted to go. It was on! Happy I asked, I drove home excited for something fun to do on Saturday.
Day 269 See "Fireflies" Entry below, dated May 13, for a complete post. :)
Day 270 So I was shopping at Kohls, it was a Friday night, and they had amazing deals. As I'm in the dressing room trying on clothes, on comes the song for our talent show act called "Say, Hey I Love You." I debated for a second and thought, "Hey, why not??" Dancing in a dressing room--now that's something I don't think I've ever done! It totally lifted the cloud I was under.
Day 271 Shopping trip to Woodfield Mall with a new friend! I've only been to Woodfield Mall one time years ago--it was sooo much fun! And, I discovered that my shopping partner lives literally only 4 or 5 minutes from my apartment!
Day 272 On a whim I'd replied to the e-vite awhile back committing myself to a grill-out today with people I barely know. When today came I was so tired from being up early for church that I wanted to take a nap and skip the party altogether. I crawled into bed and couldn't ignore the thought that I needed to stop sleeping and start living! We played volleyball, grilled out, and were fooled by the sunshine into thinking it was summer! :)
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Fireflies
I feel WONDERFUL.
Totally relaxed. Totally refreshed.
Reminiscent. Reflective. Calm.
Tonight I decided to escape into bliss:
Filled a bubble bath,
put on a mix of Elton John, The Beatles, Fleetwood Mac...
gathered all the candles from around my apartment,
placed them intricately at different levels in my bathroom,
and soon had a mini spa...
I even put my cell phone on silent and stuck it in my room,
then turned the bathroom clock around so it wasn't in view.
The final touch?
I turned out the lights and relaxed in a world of glowing "fireflies."
(something I've never done because it seems reserved for couples)
Conclusion?
A candle-lit bath is wonderfully soothing even in this season of life.
I didn't do this because I was exhausted;
I wanted to slow down from all the productivity and enjoy LIFE.
...I haven't felt this peaceful in a long time!
Lesson: think outside the box
Totally relaxed. Totally refreshed.
Reminiscent. Reflective. Calm.
Tonight I decided to escape into bliss:
Filled a bubble bath,
put on a mix of Elton John, The Beatles, Fleetwood Mac...
gathered all the candles from around my apartment,
placed them intricately at different levels in my bathroom,
and soon had a mini spa...
I even put my cell phone on silent and stuck it in my room,
then turned the bathroom clock around so it wasn't in view.
The final touch?
I turned out the lights and relaxed in a world of glowing "fireflies."
(something I've never done because it seems reserved for couples)
Conclusion?
A candle-lit bath is wonderfully soothing even in this season of life.
I didn't do this because I was exhausted;
I wanted to slow down from all the productivity and enjoy LIFE.
...I haven't felt this peaceful in a long time!
Lesson: think outside the box
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Snapshots Part Three
(May 3rd-May 9th)
Day 258 Took the day off work "just because." Turned out to be 70 and sunny! It was wonderful!
Day 259 Pulled that choir boy who is usually great for me into the principal's office to chat with him alone (he'd walked out on me twice that day; guess he was a terror for the other teachers!). God gave me the words--The rest of the week he was wonderful for me, though the other teachers still were dealing with his rebellion and disrespect!
Day 260 Took some time to get out of my own little world and bought an anniversary card for the worship pastor and his wife. It really made me happy to find "the perfect card" and write some kind words. Unfortunately, the sweetness turned sour when I handed it to his secretary only to find that her anniversary was the day before! (In my defense, it wasn't on our choir calendar like the others!)
Day 261 Since my sister and I were going on a Mother's Day gift together, one of us had to make the extra effort to find time to go buy the rather large shepherd's hook and fit it into our car. When she called about it on my way home from work, I must admit that I was annoyed. After I hung up, I knew what I had to do. It was the best feeling to call her and tell her "I just go it!"; she sounded so relieved and grateful!!!
Day 262 Friday night. Exhausted. Content to stay in, bake cookies, and watch a movie. My friend Nichole called and I could tell she really wanted to do something. It felt like a sacrifice tonight to give up my much desired alone time, but the Chinese food, baking together, and eating warm cookies while watching a chick flick ended up being the perfect Friday night.
Day 263 Second time on weekend worship team at church--It's crazy how people can be so unaware of leaving others out. Claim? Push my way (in a friendly manner of course) into conversations by asking questions and genuinely being interested. Even with the pastors wife, eventually I was being included through eye contact and shared laughter. Wow, did that take confidence!
Day 264 So I'm making friends with another girl in choir who is cute, fun, and not competitive (praise the Lord!) at all. Today she mentioned that the Woodfield Mall has a huge Forever 21 accessories store, so I piped in that we should go shopping together. Why not seize the moment, right?! We agreed on going next Saturday. Yay!
Lesson: just lay your life down--it's the right thing to do
Day 258 Took the day off work "just because." Turned out to be 70 and sunny! It was wonderful!
Day 259 Pulled that choir boy who is usually great for me into the principal's office to chat with him alone (he'd walked out on me twice that day; guess he was a terror for the other teachers!). God gave me the words--The rest of the week he was wonderful for me, though the other teachers still were dealing with his rebellion and disrespect!
Day 260 Took some time to get out of my own little world and bought an anniversary card for the worship pastor and his wife. It really made me happy to find "the perfect card" and write some kind words. Unfortunately, the sweetness turned sour when I handed it to his secretary only to find that her anniversary was the day before! (In my defense, it wasn't on our choir calendar like the others!)
Day 261 Since my sister and I were going on a Mother's Day gift together, one of us had to make the extra effort to find time to go buy the rather large shepherd's hook and fit it into our car. When she called about it on my way home from work, I must admit that I was annoyed. After I hung up, I knew what I had to do. It was the best feeling to call her and tell her "I just go it!"; she sounded so relieved and grateful!!!
Day 262 Friday night. Exhausted. Content to stay in, bake cookies, and watch a movie. My friend Nichole called and I could tell she really wanted to do something. It felt like a sacrifice tonight to give up my much desired alone time, but the Chinese food, baking together, and eating warm cookies while watching a chick flick ended up being the perfect Friday night.
Day 263 Second time on weekend worship team at church--It's crazy how people can be so unaware of leaving others out. Claim? Push my way (in a friendly manner of course) into conversations by asking questions and genuinely being interested. Even with the pastors wife, eventually I was being included through eye contact and shared laughter. Wow, did that take confidence!
Day 264 So I'm making friends with another girl in choir who is cute, fun, and not competitive (praise the Lord!) at all. Today she mentioned that the Woodfield Mall has a huge Forever 21 accessories store, so I piped in that we should go shopping together. Why not seize the moment, right?! We agreed on going next Saturday. Yay!
Lesson: just lay your life down--it's the right thing to do
Friday, May 7, 2010
Snapshots Part Two
(April 26-May 2)
Day 251 A student in my choir who never sings and never smiles stole an item from my room. Instead of writing her up and being done with it, I claimed the moment: sat her down, talked with her about choices and shared my own struggles in jr. high. I could tell she got it. The next day, she asked me if she could sing a solo for the talent show... I pulled out the requested song and when she opened her mouth I was floored; I had never heard her sing in two years and she had one of the best voices in the class! I did make a difference!
Day 252 Mom called to hear how worship team went. Glaze over it or share with utter vulnerability? When I hung up the phone an hour later I was encouraged and refreshed. The stories of politics and spiritual attacks were lifted and I was at peace knowing my heart is in the right place: It's all about Him!
Day 253 After choir practice I was cutting through the sanctuary and felt the pull to stay and pray. I wanted to go up to the stage and kneel but was keenly aware of the soundmen in the soundbooth. How could I focus with them there? Now, I wish I would have just done it. I claimed the moment, but was a whimp about it--I sat several rows back and only lasted five minutes. Even still, I felt reassured that I had a purpose as I lifted the choir members and pastors up in prayer.
Day 254 Mustered up the confidence to call up the music secretary and asked what was expected for my next time on Wednesday night worship, as two of us were scheduled for the same part. Hung up totally excited that she'd put the other girl with me because I have "more experience" and can "help her" instead of the odd scheduling being that I wasn't a strong enough singer to hold my part. Note: Just communicate!!
Day 255 After our performance in the district Razzle Dazzle [Talent Show] I wanted to go home and just relax. As we were carpooling home, I could tell that my friend Nichole wanted to hang out instead of go home (it was a Friday night after all!). I claimed "togetherness" and we ended up enjoying a cute movie and good conversation.
Day 256 Gave up my favorite day of the week (Saturday) to help a friend's mom move. My claim was to be a blessing, though I ended up being in quite a bad mood when I was there four hours longer than I'd expected...
Day 257 A very sweet girl invited me over for lunch after church. Though I had been up late and was really wanting to go home and take a Sunday nap, I immediately said, "Sure!" Before my mind could even think, my mouth had claimed it for me. Amazing how claiming starts to become a habit. Result? Good convo, yummy muffins, and the beginning of a new friendship. Felt satisfied that I put someone else first.
Lesson: giving people your time rarely becomes a regret
Day 251 A student in my choir who never sings and never smiles stole an item from my room. Instead of writing her up and being done with it, I claimed the moment: sat her down, talked with her about choices and shared my own struggles in jr. high. I could tell she got it. The next day, she asked me if she could sing a solo for the talent show... I pulled out the requested song and when she opened her mouth I was floored; I had never heard her sing in two years and she had one of the best voices in the class! I did make a difference!
Day 252 Mom called to hear how worship team went. Glaze over it or share with utter vulnerability? When I hung up the phone an hour later I was encouraged and refreshed. The stories of politics and spiritual attacks were lifted and I was at peace knowing my heart is in the right place: It's all about Him!
Day 253 After choir practice I was cutting through the sanctuary and felt the pull to stay and pray. I wanted to go up to the stage and kneel but was keenly aware of the soundmen in the soundbooth. How could I focus with them there? Now, I wish I would have just done it. I claimed the moment, but was a whimp about it--I sat several rows back and only lasted five minutes. Even still, I felt reassured that I had a purpose as I lifted the choir members and pastors up in prayer.
Day 254 Mustered up the confidence to call up the music secretary and asked what was expected for my next time on Wednesday night worship, as two of us were scheduled for the same part. Hung up totally excited that she'd put the other girl with me because I have "more experience" and can "help her" instead of the odd scheduling being that I wasn't a strong enough singer to hold my part. Note: Just communicate!!
Day 255 After our performance in the district Razzle Dazzle [Talent Show] I wanted to go home and just relax. As we were carpooling home, I could tell that my friend Nichole wanted to hang out instead of go home (it was a Friday night after all!). I claimed "togetherness" and we ended up enjoying a cute movie and good conversation.
Day 256 Gave up my favorite day of the week (Saturday) to help a friend's mom move. My claim was to be a blessing, though I ended up being in quite a bad mood when I was there four hours longer than I'd expected...
Day 257 A very sweet girl invited me over for lunch after church. Though I had been up late and was really wanting to go home and take a Sunday nap, I immediately said, "Sure!" Before my mind could even think, my mouth had claimed it for me. Amazing how claiming starts to become a habit. Result? Good convo, yummy muffins, and the beginning of a new friendship. Felt satisfied that I put someone else first.
Lesson: giving people your time rarely becomes a regret
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Snapshots Part One
(April 19-April 25)
Day 244 Mustered up the guts to call my landlord and give a friendly, yet firm, reminder to [finally] fix our mailboxes. (You know I don't like confrontation!)
Day 245 Our worship pastor recently made a request for new songs; So, I e-mailed him an mp3 of a worship song I wrote. You never know, right?
Day 246 First time singing on worship team--finally! Made a point to be nice to her even if she kept being cold back and take time to get to know the other singers. The warmth melted her and I had some great conversations! Then, went home and spent time praying for them.
Day 247 Driving out of the grocery store parkinglot, I viewed a huge pinky-orange globe floating in the sky. Pulled over and spent five minutes soaking in God's beautiful creation and praising Him. Amazing how God can romance our hearts through nature!
Day 248 Found out one of my choir boys who is now wonderful for me (after a rough beginnign of the year) is still a nightmare for all of his other teachers--swearing at them, refusing to do work, walking out. Pulled him from class for a half an hour and had a heart-to-heart. Spoke to the assistant principal directly after per his request. I know I made a difference.
Day 249 First time singing in front of the church (Saturday night service). The presence of Jesus was so strong I was crying through much of the worship. Claim? Worship with a pure heart and don't worry about what others would think.
Day 250 Right before the Sunday morning service, our worship pastor pulled the worship team aside and criticized us on engaging the congregation. AND, he added the other rude girl to sing with us sopranos without her even practicing with us. Claim? Initiate as much conversation with her as possible and be a blessing. By the end, she chose to stand by me and after the service thanked me, saying "Thank you! You really helped me with my part!" This is huge--she never flatters/compliments and barely even smiles.
Lesson: take the time!
Day 244 Mustered up the guts to call my landlord and give a friendly, yet firm, reminder to [finally] fix our mailboxes. (You know I don't like confrontation!)
Day 245 Our worship pastor recently made a request for new songs; So, I e-mailed him an mp3 of a worship song I wrote. You never know, right?
Day 246 First time singing on worship team--finally! Made a point to be nice to her even if she kept being cold back and take time to get to know the other singers. The warmth melted her and I had some great conversations! Then, went home and spent time praying for them.
Day 247 Driving out of the grocery store parkinglot, I viewed a huge pinky-orange globe floating in the sky. Pulled over and spent five minutes soaking in God's beautiful creation and praising Him. Amazing how God can romance our hearts through nature!
Day 248 Found out one of my choir boys who is now wonderful for me (after a rough beginnign of the year) is still a nightmare for all of his other teachers--swearing at them, refusing to do work, walking out. Pulled him from class for a half an hour and had a heart-to-heart. Spoke to the assistant principal directly after per his request. I know I made a difference.
Day 249 First time singing in front of the church (Saturday night service). The presence of Jesus was so strong I was crying through much of the worship. Claim? Worship with a pure heart and don't worry about what others would think.
Day 250 Right before the Sunday morning service, our worship pastor pulled the worship team aside and criticized us on engaging the congregation. AND, he added the other rude girl to sing with us sopranos without her even practicing with us. Claim? Initiate as much conversation with her as possible and be a blessing. By the end, she chose to stand by me and after the service thanked me, saying "Thank you! You really helped me with my part!" This is huge--she never flatters/compliments and barely even smiles.
Lesson: take the time!
Snapshots Explanation
Dear Reader,
It's getting to be too much--
writing long posts every day.
I'm sure you can tell,
as my posts of thinned out immensely.
It's not unmovitavation.
It not lack of inspiration.
So what is it?
It's that I'm LIVING!
And when you're living,
who has time to be typing?
Hence my new approach:
Snapshots.
Yes, that's it. Just a glimpse.
A brief view of what I'm claiming.
Maybe snapshot entries will help you, too.
Less time reading, more time LIVING!
Live on!
~Chicago Girl
It's getting to be too much--
writing long posts every day.
I'm sure you can tell,
as my posts of thinned out immensely.
It's not unmovitavation.
It not lack of inspiration.
So what is it?
It's that I'm LIVING!
And when you're living,
who has time to be typing?
Hence my new approach:
Snapshots.
Yes, that's it. Just a glimpse.
A brief view of what I'm claiming.
Maybe snapshot entries will help you, too.
Less time reading, more time LIVING!
Live on!
~Chicago Girl
Thursday, April 29, 2010
Coming Back: Continued (Days 237-243)
Day 237: After getting rid of the stress/bad mood that was lingering over my taxes, I decided to do the long sheet by hand to double check that I'd added everything correctly using the H and R Block online program. I totally did it, although was slightly overwhelmed. But, taxes are something that totally intimidate me, so it feel like a big accomplishment!
Day 238: I love apples. Do you? My favorite are Mckintosh. When I went grocery shopping today I decided to break out of my regular routine and try a different kind--"Jazz apples." The name struck me, so I thought, "Why not?" They were good, though not even close to my favorites!
Day 239: At choir practice at church tonight the regular piano player wasn't there. The director (who is not our official director) was having a really hard time playing and directing at the same time; he's just not great on keys. I wanted to volunteer to play (I accompanied choirs from 6th grade all the way through college), but I didn't have the guts. Finally, after almost 20 minutes of mustering up the guts, I just claimed it (which is not easy to do when you're the newbie in the choir and the level of musicianship is very high). I was a little bummed when he turned me down, but I had to remind myself that he's never heard me play and doesn't know my abilities yet. At least I had the guts to ask!
Day 240: Beautiful day--I needed to get out and enjoy the weather. I was tempted to stay in and just be lazy, but instead picked up the phone and asked a girl friend to go walking. It was definitely a work out, and on the way home I made the conscious choir to appreciate all the nature around me--new tulips and daffodils budding, the sweet smell of the white blossoms on the trees above us.... Spring is here!
Day 241: So there's a complication with the title of my car. Somehow the DMV messed up the year on my vehicle (which I discovered when I got my license plate renewal papers in the mail) when I registered it a year and a half ago. Turns out that they had two different years in the computer for my car and I was never mailed a title--I thought they mailed it to the bank I got the car loan from. Not so! So I have no title! For the past month I've been telling myself that I needed to get back to the DMV and talk to them about it. Today was the day--I finally made it there! I stood in line for 45 minutes, surrounded by loud, rude, or tired people, only to get to the front and discover that they'd have to make some phone calls and let me know the next week. What a waste of a Friday afternoon!!
Day 242: I had guests for the weekend--a young couple who I mentored through their junior high and high school years--and decided to stop worrying so much about money and splurge for my guests! We went to the grocery store and I let them pick out fun foods (and junk food) for the weekend. It felt great to do something with someone else in mind, and reminded me of the good old days when I was still in college and had them and the other youth over for late-night hang outs.
Day 243: I ended up getting locked out of my apartment when I had loaned a friend my keys and had to wait for them to meet me at my apartment. What I thought would be a 10 minute wait turned into 35-40 minutes. I was so frustrated! At first I sat in my car trying to ignore the frustration and stress (I had a lot of school work to plan before the next morning and felt like I was totally wasting precious time!). Then, I decided to use the time to make some phone calls and catch up with some friends. My bad mood didn't lend to long conversations. Finally, after 20 minutes of waiting I knew I needed to get over it. So, I started praying for that really rude girl at church. I started to feel a little better, but I must admit that it was hard to keep praying when I was so annoyed. My mood did not overly improve. I definitely failed this claim.
Lesson: sometimes just attempting a claim brings puts one in better spirits, even if the claim itself is not accomplished
Day 238: I love apples. Do you? My favorite are Mckintosh. When I went grocery shopping today I decided to break out of my regular routine and try a different kind--"Jazz apples." The name struck me, so I thought, "Why not?" They were good, though not even close to my favorites!
Day 239: At choir practice at church tonight the regular piano player wasn't there. The director (who is not our official director) was having a really hard time playing and directing at the same time; he's just not great on keys. I wanted to volunteer to play (I accompanied choirs from 6th grade all the way through college), but I didn't have the guts. Finally, after almost 20 minutes of mustering up the guts, I just claimed it (which is not easy to do when you're the newbie in the choir and the level of musicianship is very high). I was a little bummed when he turned me down, but I had to remind myself that he's never heard me play and doesn't know my abilities yet. At least I had the guts to ask!
Day 240: Beautiful day--I needed to get out and enjoy the weather. I was tempted to stay in and just be lazy, but instead picked up the phone and asked a girl friend to go walking. It was definitely a work out, and on the way home I made the conscious choir to appreciate all the nature around me--new tulips and daffodils budding, the sweet smell of the white blossoms on the trees above us.... Spring is here!
Day 241: So there's a complication with the title of my car. Somehow the DMV messed up the year on my vehicle (which I discovered when I got my license plate renewal papers in the mail) when I registered it a year and a half ago. Turns out that they had two different years in the computer for my car and I was never mailed a title--I thought they mailed it to the bank I got the car loan from. Not so! So I have no title! For the past month I've been telling myself that I needed to get back to the DMV and talk to them about it. Today was the day--I finally made it there! I stood in line for 45 minutes, surrounded by loud, rude, or tired people, only to get to the front and discover that they'd have to make some phone calls and let me know the next week. What a waste of a Friday afternoon!!
Day 242: I had guests for the weekend--a young couple who I mentored through their junior high and high school years--and decided to stop worrying so much about money and splurge for my guests! We went to the grocery store and I let them pick out fun foods (and junk food) for the weekend. It felt great to do something with someone else in mind, and reminded me of the good old days when I was still in college and had them and the other youth over for late-night hang outs.
Day 243: I ended up getting locked out of my apartment when I had loaned a friend my keys and had to wait for them to meet me at my apartment. What I thought would be a 10 minute wait turned into 35-40 minutes. I was so frustrated! At first I sat in my car trying to ignore the frustration and stress (I had a lot of school work to plan before the next morning and felt like I was totally wasting precious time!). Then, I decided to use the time to make some phone calls and catch up with some friends. My bad mood didn't lend to long conversations. Finally, after 20 minutes of waiting I knew I needed to get over it. So, I started praying for that really rude girl at church. I started to feel a little better, but I must admit that it was hard to keep praying when I was so annoyed. My mood did not overly improve. I definitely failed this claim.
Lesson: sometimes just attempting a claim brings puts one in better spirits, even if the claim itself is not accomplished
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Coming Back, Listed Simply (Days 230-236)
Day 230: Chose to speak in utter honesty with my brother and his wife about my dating life and personal struggles.
Day 231: Bought gifts for the music pastor and music secretary at much church as a thank you for all they do.
Day 232: Answered the call of a girl friend that I knew could be a long conversation (even though I was tired) and seized an invitation to go out for dinner.
Day 233: Delivered the gifts to Pastor Tim and the music secretary and pushed back the cowardice approach of just "dropping them off." Enjoyed watching them open the gifts infront of me.
Day 234: Left a message turning down a Saturday evening invitation to meet a friend and her husband for dinner, but then the claim mentality set in and I called back two seconds later leaving a message with a better time to meet up (which happend to be a "big sacrifice" for me as I'm jealous over my Saturday afternoons)!
Day 235: Finally did that errand that I kept writing post-its about: picked up my bridesmaid dress!
Day 236: The whole weekend I was struggling and stressing as I attempted to figure out how to do my taxes alone (I own my own business which makes it more complicated). Today I decided, "No more stressing. You can do this. Believe in yourself." And I did. Without stress. If I can do this, I can do anything!!!
Lesson: perspective and happiness is always a choice
Day 231: Bought gifts for the music pastor and music secretary at much church as a thank you for all they do.
Day 232: Answered the call of a girl friend that I knew could be a long conversation (even though I was tired) and seized an invitation to go out for dinner.
Day 233: Delivered the gifts to Pastor Tim and the music secretary and pushed back the cowardice approach of just "dropping them off." Enjoyed watching them open the gifts infront of me.
Day 234: Left a message turning down a Saturday evening invitation to meet a friend and her husband for dinner, but then the claim mentality set in and I called back two seconds later leaving a message with a better time to meet up (which happend to be a "big sacrifice" for me as I'm jealous over my Saturday afternoons)!
Day 235: Finally did that errand that I kept writing post-its about: picked up my bridesmaid dress!
Day 236: The whole weekend I was struggling and stressing as I attempted to figure out how to do my taxes alone (I own my own business which makes it more complicated). Today I decided, "No more stressing. You can do this. Believe in yourself." And I did. Without stress. If I can do this, I can do anything!!!
Lesson: perspective and happiness is always a choice
The Abyss Part 4 (Days 223-229)
Day 223: Today while visiting my parents I read an entire book in one sitting--I started it in bed and didn't put it down until I finished it at 1:00am; What a wonderful escape! It was fun to find adventure, suspense, and romance in a novel again.
Day 224: My parents didn't have a lot of money was I was little, so we always had to take super short showers (Yes, my dad would time us!). My parents no longer have to worry about this, but when I'm home sometimes I still put guilt on myself if my shower seems too long. Today, still fighting a temperature and achiness, I decided to take a long shower even thought I was at my parents and just enjoy it. It felt so good!
Day 225: I don't like confrontation. By now, you know this! Today at Kohl's I found an adorable decor pillow for my couch in the exact color and style I've been looking for. Knowing it would complete my search, and noticing that it was on the "super discount" shelf, I grabbed it. As I made my way to the counter, I noticed the price was not adjusted on the red tag on the pillow, I mustered up the guts to explain where I'd found it and ask for a deal. When the cashier typed in a 50% discount, I took a deep breath and reminded her that I'd found it on the 75-80% off shelf and that it had a tiny stain on the corner. She pused a few buttons and said, "Your total is $6.78" I couldn't believe it! It was a $30 pillow. I left for home swelling with joy and pride that I DID IT! I took a chance and got a GREAT deal!
Day 226: Today a girl friend invited me to go get pedicures with her and some of her friends, and after double checking with her that the price would not be over $20, I told her to count me in. My claim came after my toenails were a beautiful fucia color and my friend, who had just paid for her, said "I'm sorry--I guess it's $30!". Stress. I felt a tigthening in my heart. I had told her that I had a coupon at home for another spa that got me a pedicure AND manicure for a total of $30 and she reassured me that the price would be $20. I took a few deep breaths and claimed a stress-free perspective. And, when she wanted me to join them for breakfast I decided to lay down my penny pinching for the sake of fellowship and getting to know her friends. We shared our some of our testimonies and life stories over breakfast. Thank you, Lord, for helping us see things in a balanced perspective!
Day 227: I love nature. Today I finally made it to the store and bought a hard-core bird feeder for the blossoming tree outside my kitchen window. I filled it and waited expectantly for my first visitors.
Day 228: Somtimes it's hard to be vulnerable. Tonight I had dear friends come visit from Milwaukee--a couple that I haven't seen in almost a year! Sitting across the patio table at one of my favorite restaurants, a moment of truth came up. I knew I needed to be honest and vulnerable about where I'm at with singleness and my present struggles. It opened up a very encouraging personal conversation that gave me renewed hope and inspiration! After they left, I kept thinking how glad I was that I just opened up and laid my sould bare.
Day 229: My cell phone rang and I just didn't feel like answering. I had gotten home from work shortly before and was just sitting down to eat a snack and relax. After a few rings I knew I needed to claim the moment, so picked up with a chipper "hello." Little did I know the blessing on the other end. One of the youth kids that I've mentored and been friends with for several years began, through choked back tears, to express his thanks for my guidance and help all these years. He had simply called to say thank you! I was so glad I'd answered his call!!
Lesson: just go for it--what are you waiting for?
Day 224: My parents didn't have a lot of money was I was little, so we always had to take super short showers (Yes, my dad would time us!). My parents no longer have to worry about this, but when I'm home sometimes I still put guilt on myself if my shower seems too long. Today, still fighting a temperature and achiness, I decided to take a long shower even thought I was at my parents and just enjoy it. It felt so good!
Day 225: I don't like confrontation. By now, you know this! Today at Kohl's I found an adorable decor pillow for my couch in the exact color and style I've been looking for. Knowing it would complete my search, and noticing that it was on the "super discount" shelf, I grabbed it. As I made my way to the counter, I noticed the price was not adjusted on the red tag on the pillow, I mustered up the guts to explain where I'd found it and ask for a deal. When the cashier typed in a 50% discount, I took a deep breath and reminded her that I'd found it on the 75-80% off shelf and that it had a tiny stain on the corner. She pused a few buttons and said, "Your total is $6.78" I couldn't believe it! It was a $30 pillow. I left for home swelling with joy and pride that I DID IT! I took a chance and got a GREAT deal!
Day 226: Today a girl friend invited me to go get pedicures with her and some of her friends, and after double checking with her that the price would not be over $20, I told her to count me in. My claim came after my toenails were a beautiful fucia color and my friend, who had just paid for her, said "I'm sorry--I guess it's $30!". Stress. I felt a tigthening in my heart. I had told her that I had a coupon at home for another spa that got me a pedicure AND manicure for a total of $30 and she reassured me that the price would be $20. I took a few deep breaths and claimed a stress-free perspective. And, when she wanted me to join them for breakfast I decided to lay down my penny pinching for the sake of fellowship and getting to know her friends. We shared our some of our testimonies and life stories over breakfast. Thank you, Lord, for helping us see things in a balanced perspective!
Day 227: I love nature. Today I finally made it to the store and bought a hard-core bird feeder for the blossoming tree outside my kitchen window. I filled it and waited expectantly for my first visitors.
Day 228: Somtimes it's hard to be vulnerable. Tonight I had dear friends come visit from Milwaukee--a couple that I haven't seen in almost a year! Sitting across the patio table at one of my favorite restaurants, a moment of truth came up. I knew I needed to be honest and vulnerable about where I'm at with singleness and my present struggles. It opened up a very encouraging personal conversation that gave me renewed hope and inspiration! After they left, I kept thinking how glad I was that I just opened up and laid my sould bare.
Day 229: My cell phone rang and I just didn't feel like answering. I had gotten home from work shortly before and was just sitting down to eat a snack and relax. After a few rings I knew I needed to claim the moment, so picked up with a chipper "hello." Little did I know the blessing on the other end. One of the youth kids that I've mentored and been friends with for several years began, through choked back tears, to express his thanks for my guidance and help all these years. He had simply called to say thank you! I was so glad I'd answered his call!!
Lesson: just go for it--what are you waiting for?
Sunday, April 18, 2010
The Abyss Part 3 (Days 216-222)
After an amazing week last week I found it much harder to be motivated to claim. Claiming felt trivial; why claim when there's a "cure" that's so much better? Determined to meet my year-long goal, I kept claiming, even through over a week and a half of being super sick, missing work, and spending much of my time in bed... I did not type because I honestly was too sick to do much of anything. I discovered something this week: Being sick and fuzzy-minded made it difficult to focus on my goal of claiming, and often the evening came and I thought, "Okay, did I claim anything today?" And wonderfully, I realized that I consistently did!!!
Day 216: Sick. Very sick. Sore throat, stuffy nose, headache, dizzyness--felt like I'd been hit by a truck. Claim? Find the humility to ask a friend to go to the store for me (I've never done this before that I recall!). What a relief to have them stock me up with soup, cleenex, cough drops, juice... What are friends for?!
Day 217: Today I made a personal claim and failed miserably. Why is it so hard to do the right thing at times? Why must we all have an area of weakness that gets us?
Day 218: Reclaimed yesterday's claim: "I will succeed!" And I did. :)
Day 219: I felt so lifted after today's claim! What was it you may ask? Something so simple, but so refreshing... I cleaned out my entire email account, widdling it down from hundreds of emails to only eight and organizing everything into files! What a great feeling to finally do something that's been on a to-do list for years!
Day 220: Had to end a short phone conversation with my mom because she called just as I was sitting down to eat the home-cooked meal I prepared for a girl friend and me. I seized two moments today...
1) Inviting Nicole over and cooking a healthy meal instead of plopping on the couch and eating a "quickie."
2) Taking the time to call my mom back after dinner and be sensitive to the fact the she may have got her feelings hurt that I didn't talk long.
Day 221: Why is it so hard to get out of my life and think of other people?? Sometimes I feel so centered on ME. Tonight as I was enjoying the ride home to my beautiful Wisconsin hometown, I put in a cd that a friend of mine had burned for me way back in college. His face popped into my head and I smiled. Instead of enjoying the moment alone, I decided to call him and let him know that it made me think of him and that I wanted to see how he was doing. I had to leave a voice mail, but he returned my call soon after. I couldn't help smiling as I thought of how much doing even something little for someone else can bring a burst of happiness into my day.
Day 222: SICK. Still. Claim? Sleep all day/stay in bed without feeling lazy, unproductive, or guilty for not doing something! It's just what I needed!
Lesson: eventually, choosing to live becomes a habit!!!
Day 216: Sick. Very sick. Sore throat, stuffy nose, headache, dizzyness--felt like I'd been hit by a truck. Claim? Find the humility to ask a friend to go to the store for me (I've never done this before that I recall!). What a relief to have them stock me up with soup, cleenex, cough drops, juice... What are friends for?!
Day 217: Today I made a personal claim and failed miserably. Why is it so hard to do the right thing at times? Why must we all have an area of weakness that gets us?
Day 218: Reclaimed yesterday's claim: "I will succeed!" And I did. :)
Day 219: I felt so lifted after today's claim! What was it you may ask? Something so simple, but so refreshing... I cleaned out my entire email account, widdling it down from hundreds of emails to only eight and organizing everything into files! What a great feeling to finally do something that's been on a to-do list for years!
Day 220: Had to end a short phone conversation with my mom because she called just as I was sitting down to eat the home-cooked meal I prepared for a girl friend and me. I seized two moments today...
1) Inviting Nicole over and cooking a healthy meal instead of plopping on the couch and eating a "quickie."
2) Taking the time to call my mom back after dinner and be sensitive to the fact the she may have got her feelings hurt that I didn't talk long.
Day 221: Why is it so hard to get out of my life and think of other people?? Sometimes I feel so centered on ME. Tonight as I was enjoying the ride home to my beautiful Wisconsin hometown, I put in a cd that a friend of mine had burned for me way back in college. His face popped into my head and I smiled. Instead of enjoying the moment alone, I decided to call him and let him know that it made me think of him and that I wanted to see how he was doing. I had to leave a voice mail, but he returned my call soon after. I couldn't help smiling as I thought of how much doing even something little for someone else can bring a burst of happiness into my day.
Day 222: SICK. Still. Claim? Sleep all day/stay in bed without feeling lazy, unproductive, or guilty for not doing something! It's just what I needed!
Lesson: eventually, choosing to live becomes a habit!!!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
The Abyss Part 2 (Days 209-215)
Do you know what is an amazing event? When something that you've known in your mind is finally known by your heart.
This happend to me this week, and it was HUGE; It has changed my entire perspective on the present circumstances in my life, and the continual struggle concerning some confusion about someone that I'm interested in. (Yes, the same person who my heart was hurting about awhile back).
So, what caused such a change this week?? It was my claim--a claim within this journey of claiming, if that makes sense. I chose to claim, for the entire week, to spend all of my prayer time simply PRAISING the Lord: No asking Him for things, asking Him to change things, or praying about any of my present circumstances. Instead, to just thank Him for who He is and what He's done and what He's yet to do.
This was the most powerful week I've had with the Lord in the past year; He honored my claim by instantly drawing near to me--His presence and Light so strong that I could literally feel His love. Do you know what I mean by this?
I sat there, on my knees in my livingroom, and all around me was the most wonderful Light, love, and comfort. He kept drawing me, giving me peace, taking away my fears, and changing the direction of the reels of my mind. For the first time, I could honestly pray, "Have your way, Lord" in my personal life without fear. It was a week of praising that I know has changed the course of my heart and life.
He truly does calm our fears!!!
Within the week, there were several days where I also claimed something, although it wasn't mandatory within this larger claim. Instead, I just found that it happend naturally, such as: calling in and donating money to Moody Radio for the first time, not recording/writing down a song the Lord gave me and instead keeping it just for Him in that moment, and even fixing a lampshade in my livingroom that has been falling apart for over a year now! Throughout the Seven days of Praise, there was one day that I forgot to make the time to come to Him--I had company over and was feeling so sick that I crashed around 9pm on a Friday night! Did I do any claim that day? YES! I veered from "the normal" at my favorite restaurant and tried a soup! Conclusion? Great but not a new favorite.
Lesson:
JESUS is the real key to happiness!
This happend to me this week, and it was HUGE; It has changed my entire perspective on the present circumstances in my life, and the continual struggle concerning some confusion about someone that I'm interested in. (Yes, the same person who my heart was hurting about awhile back).
So, what caused such a change this week?? It was my claim--a claim within this journey of claiming, if that makes sense. I chose to claim, for the entire week, to spend all of my prayer time simply PRAISING the Lord: No asking Him for things, asking Him to change things, or praying about any of my present circumstances. Instead, to just thank Him for who He is and what He's done and what He's yet to do.
This was the most powerful week I've had with the Lord in the past year; He honored my claim by instantly drawing near to me--His presence and Light so strong that I could literally feel His love. Do you know what I mean by this?
I sat there, on my knees in my livingroom, and all around me was the most wonderful Light, love, and comfort. He kept drawing me, giving me peace, taking away my fears, and changing the direction of the reels of my mind. For the first time, I could honestly pray, "Have your way, Lord" in my personal life without fear. It was a week of praising that I know has changed the course of my heart and life.
He truly does calm our fears!!!
Within the week, there were several days where I also claimed something, although it wasn't mandatory within this larger claim. Instead, I just found that it happend naturally, such as: calling in and donating money to Moody Radio for the first time, not recording/writing down a song the Lord gave me and instead keeping it just for Him in that moment, and even fixing a lampshade in my livingroom that has been falling apart for over a year now! Throughout the Seven days of Praise, there was one day that I forgot to make the time to come to Him--I had company over and was feeling so sick that I crashed around 9pm on a Friday night! Did I do any claim that day? YES! I veered from "the normal" at my favorite restaurant and tried a soup! Conclusion? Great but not a new favorite.
Lesson:
JESUS is the real key to happiness!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
The Abyss Part 1 (Days 203-208)
How shall I communicate these simple claims?
Claims amidst such discouragement and lack of hope?
I think a simple description will do.
A simple description to tell you--
even in the rough times we can choose to do something.
Day 203: Turned down a friend's invitation for dinner for some much-needed alone time before volleyball. Lesson: If you need time, take it guilt-free!
Day 204: Gave up the pride of trying to go through heavy discouragement alone and sent a mass text pleading for prayer. Lesson: when we are weak, the strength of others' faith brings the hope we need
Day 205: Tired. Unmotivated. Decided to say YES to my sister's invitation to dinner. We had fun chatting and discovered by trying a Dancing with the Stars workout video (which I really didn't feel like doing, by the way) that we are not as coordinated as we thought! After much laughter, we switched to trying Pilates. Still hilarious, but managable. I left with a big smile and (hopefully) a smaller butt! Lesson: choosing to have the energy to do something may just bring you the energy you need!
Day 206: Friday night--movie night at the movie theater with a girl friend I haven't hung out with in forever! Claim? Say YES to butter on my popcorn, and a big cup of pop, and not feeling guilty about spending the money or gaining the calories--it's girls' night and I'm gonna celebrate! Lesson: learn to be more care-free
Day 207: Discouragement and sadness were heavy on my heart. I lay in bed thinking on my life. Finally I thought, "I need to just bring this to God." So I did, and literally asked Him, "What do you do when all you're left with is broken dreams?" Tears started to flow when He immediately spoke an old hymn into my head: "Are you tired of chasing pretty rainbows? Are you tired of spinning round and round? Pack up all the shattered dreams of your life, and at the feet of Jesus lay them down... Give them all, give them all, give them all to Jesus--shattered dreams, wounded hearts, and broken toys. Give them all, give them all, give them all to Jesus--and He will turn your sorrows into joys." I got up from my bed, grabbed the old torn hymnal and turned to the familiar page. As I lay in my bed, hymnal in hand and tears streaming down my face, I began to sing the song to Jesus. As I sang through my tears, His love and Light poured over me and surrounded me and I was reminded that our wonderful Savior is with me. His is here and He is all we need! Lesson: be honest with God--He will meet you there
Day 208: Do you ever have someone close to you call and suggest something to you, and then you forget about it or blow it off? Sometimes you say something like, "I'll have to try that sometime" knowing that you probably never wil? I can be guilty of this. My Mom called today and recommended that I listen to a pastor/speaker onlikne named Charles Stanley because she'd hear him give a great sermon loneliness. This time, I chose to claim the suggestion. As I listened to the sermon, I began to be encouraged--I found hope and purpose for this season of my life. I was left with this: See your season of being alone as a divine appointment from God; He wants your loneliness to draw you to Him. Lesson: don't blow off the advice of those closest to you
Claims amidst such discouragement and lack of hope?
I think a simple description will do.
A simple description to tell you--
even in the rough times we can choose to do something.
Day 203: Turned down a friend's invitation for dinner for some much-needed alone time before volleyball. Lesson: If you need time, take it guilt-free!
Day 204: Gave up the pride of trying to go through heavy discouragement alone and sent a mass text pleading for prayer. Lesson: when we are weak, the strength of others' faith brings the hope we need
Day 205: Tired. Unmotivated. Decided to say YES to my sister's invitation to dinner. We had fun chatting and discovered by trying a Dancing with the Stars workout video (which I really didn't feel like doing, by the way) that we are not as coordinated as we thought! After much laughter, we switched to trying Pilates. Still hilarious, but managable. I left with a big smile and (hopefully) a smaller butt! Lesson: choosing to have the energy to do something may just bring you the energy you need!
Day 206: Friday night--movie night at the movie theater with a girl friend I haven't hung out with in forever! Claim? Say YES to butter on my popcorn, and a big cup of pop, and not feeling guilty about spending the money or gaining the calories--it's girls' night and I'm gonna celebrate! Lesson: learn to be more care-free
Day 207: Discouragement and sadness were heavy on my heart. I lay in bed thinking on my life. Finally I thought, "I need to just bring this to God." So I did, and literally asked Him, "What do you do when all you're left with is broken dreams?" Tears started to flow when He immediately spoke an old hymn into my head: "Are you tired of chasing pretty rainbows? Are you tired of spinning round and round? Pack up all the shattered dreams of your life, and at the feet of Jesus lay them down... Give them all, give them all, give them all to Jesus--shattered dreams, wounded hearts, and broken toys. Give them all, give them all, give them all to Jesus--and He will turn your sorrows into joys." I got up from my bed, grabbed the old torn hymnal and turned to the familiar page. As I lay in my bed, hymnal in hand and tears streaming down my face, I began to sing the song to Jesus. As I sang through my tears, His love and Light poured over me and surrounded me and I was reminded that our wonderful Savior is with me. His is here and He is all we need! Lesson: be honest with God--He will meet you there
Day 208: Do you ever have someone close to you call and suggest something to you, and then you forget about it or blow it off? Sometimes you say something like, "I'll have to try that sometime" knowing that you probably never wil? I can be guilty of this. My Mom called today and recommended that I listen to a pastor/speaker onlikne named Charles Stanley because she'd hear him give a great sermon loneliness. This time, I chose to claim the suggestion. As I listened to the sermon, I began to be encouraged--I found hope and purpose for this season of my life. I was left with this: See your season of being alone as a divine appointment from God; He wants your loneliness to draw you to Him. Lesson: don't blow off the advice of those closest to you
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Back from the Abyss
It is has been so long since I've sat at this keyboard, staring at this familiar screen: March 10th--over three weeks ago! There are reasons. And there are reasons why I've come back... Thanks to two friends who called to encourage me to press on and keep writing! Stay posted my friend, and I will explain it all! But for now...
Have you ever been so discouraged, so drained, that you have no mental or emotional energy to create? To communicate? To pour yourself out? Sometimes, no energy to go on? That's where I was for the first week of this "three-week sabbatical." I still claimed something each day, though the claims were small, but had no energy to tell the world, and little energy to keep trying to choose happiness. Instead of typing the details to you, I typed a short note into my cell phone so I remembered what I did each day, knowing that eventually I would return to you, to this, to the task at hand. And here I am...
...to tell you what I've learned.
And to tell you "don't give up."
Here I am to say to you, dear reader,
there is a purpose in the suffering.
There is a hope to bring us through.
There is Jesus in it all.
He is all. He fills all.
He is ALL in ALL.
Have you ever been so discouraged, so drained, that you have no mental or emotional energy to create? To communicate? To pour yourself out? Sometimes, no energy to go on? That's where I was for the first week of this "three-week sabbatical." I still claimed something each day, though the claims were small, but had no energy to tell the world, and little energy to keep trying to choose happiness. Instead of typing the details to you, I typed a short note into my cell phone so I remembered what I did each day, knowing that eventually I would return to you, to this, to the task at hand. And here I am...
...to tell you what I've learned.
And to tell you "don't give up."
Here I am to say to you, dear reader,
there is a purpose in the suffering.
There is a hope to bring us through.
There is Jesus in it all.
He is all. He fills all.
He is ALL in ALL.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Day 202 A List of Blessings
So maybe I should fill you in on why I'm so discouraged.
Why the loneliness? Why the spiritual attacks?
I've had a lot of disappointment in the past few weeks.
As you know, I was supposed to be singing on the church worship team.
When I wasn't put on the schedule for March,
I emailed the worship leader and found out that he accidentally
overbooked the soprano section and,
"could I help with Wednesday nights instead?"
I replied a week ago and haven't heard back from him.
Also, I've been struggling with some details in my personal/love life--
missing someone, trying to trust God, discouraged with singleness....
Lacking fellowship; needing friends who are in this same stage of life.
When friends marry off, they forget the loneliness of being alone.
When will this season end?
What do you do when all you're left with is broken dreams?
Still I will worship.
Still I will sing.
Claim? Make a list of all the blessings in my life and focus on them!
Came up with 74 items (the list in not complete yet),
and decided to put a star by the ones that have happend in the past year.
Hope and encouragement lifted me when I saw that,
out of the first 26 items (page one of my list), 20 were starred!!
The Lord is GOOD.
ALL the time.
Praise Him all ye people of the Lord!
Lesson: I'm not where I want to be, but I'm not where I used to be, and that is huge!
Why the loneliness? Why the spiritual attacks?
I've had a lot of disappointment in the past few weeks.
As you know, I was supposed to be singing on the church worship team.
When I wasn't put on the schedule for March,
I emailed the worship leader and found out that he accidentally
overbooked the soprano section and,
"could I help with Wednesday nights instead?"
I replied a week ago and haven't heard back from him.
Also, I've been struggling with some details in my personal/love life--
missing someone, trying to trust God, discouraged with singleness....
Lacking fellowship; needing friends who are in this same stage of life.
When friends marry off, they forget the loneliness of being alone.
When will this season end?
What do you do when all you're left with is broken dreams?
Still I will worship.
Still I will sing.
Claim? Make a list of all the blessings in my life and focus on them!
Came up with 74 items (the list in not complete yet),
and decided to put a star by the ones that have happend in the past year.
Hope and encouragement lifted me when I saw that,
out of the first 26 items (page one of my list), 20 were starred!!
The Lord is GOOD.
ALL the time.
Praise Him all ye people of the Lord!
Lesson: I'm not where I want to be, but I'm not where I used to be, and that is huge!
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
Day 200 & 201 Pillow Plans--Take Two
Is there a hobby that you used to enjoy as a kid?
Something that you just don't find time for anymore?
A talent that somehow got lost along the way?
I used to sew all the time when I was little.
We didn't have a television growing up,
so it forced me to find creative ways to fill my time...
Baking, sewing, drawing, writing books...
I used to make up patterns, outfits
(I actually convinced my mom to let me wear one to church one day;
the pictures are hilarious!), aprons, pillows...
Indian costumes for all my neighborhood friends...
At some point in junior high our sewing machine broke.
We were poor and didn't have money to replace it,
so I got out of the habit of sewing.
Today I decided to pick it up again with something simple...
I've been looking for months now for throw pillows for my couches.
It's exhausting waiting for stores to create the exact style/color I want!
So, I decided to make some myself, and sew them by hand!
I drove to Joann Fabrics, excited about my new claim.
Can you believe that in that entire store there was not ONE spool
that matches the style and colors of my living room?
On Day 201 I decided to reclaim the claim.
I walked through all the aisles at another store and found,
honestly, ...nothing. How can this be so difficult??
The search will continue!!
Lesson: don't lose--USE--your talents!
P.S. Incase you don't count a "reclaim" as a claim, I thought I'd let you know that I actually made two claims on Day 200... My other claim was to call a girlfriend who I haven't talked to in forever (instead of just replying to the text she sent me that said she's pregnant again (baby #4!). It was so fun to catch up, and I hung up feeling good that I prioritized her. We ended the conversation with plans to have her come visit me soon!
Something that you just don't find time for anymore?
A talent that somehow got lost along the way?
I used to sew all the time when I was little.
We didn't have a television growing up,
so it forced me to find creative ways to fill my time...
Baking, sewing, drawing, writing books...
I used to make up patterns, outfits
(I actually convinced my mom to let me wear one to church one day;
the pictures are hilarious!), aprons, pillows...
Indian costumes for all my neighborhood friends...
At some point in junior high our sewing machine broke.
We were poor and didn't have money to replace it,
so I got out of the habit of sewing.
Today I decided to pick it up again with something simple...
I've been looking for months now for throw pillows for my couches.
It's exhausting waiting for stores to create the exact style/color I want!
So, I decided to make some myself, and sew them by hand!
I drove to Joann Fabrics, excited about my new claim.
Can you believe that in that entire store there was not ONE spool
that matches the style and colors of my living room?
On Day 201 I decided to reclaim the claim.
I walked through all the aisles at another store and found,
honestly, ...nothing. How can this be so difficult??
The search will continue!!
Lesson: don't lose--USE--your talents!
P.S. Incase you don't count a "reclaim" as a claim, I thought I'd let you know that I actually made two claims on Day 200... My other claim was to call a girlfriend who I haven't talked to in forever (instead of just replying to the text she sent me that said she's pregnant again (baby #4!). It was so fun to catch up, and I hung up feeling good that I prioritized her. We ended the conversation with plans to have her come visit me soon!
Monday, March 8, 2010
Day 198 & 199 Undercover Love
Day 198
Got a coverage slip at work;
had to cover an absent teacher's class.
A small amount of anxiousness set in.
You never know what to expect on these days!
Especially with this assignment: a bilingual classroom!
The Lord was all over it!
He helped me--gave me wisdom and favor--
from the start.
For the 25 minutes they worked,
I began some undercover work:
I started to pray for them.
I committed to praying the whole class period.
I don't know how to describe how good it felt.
I knew I was doing the best thing for them,
and nobody could stop me.
Lesson: separation of church/state shouldn't be a state-of-heart!
Day 199
Lonely lonely lonely.
Are you sensing a theme?
After so much time alone during the week,
the last thing I wanted was more alone time!
I wanted something FUN to do.
My sister and a girl friend both reached out,
and I spent a fun day with them.
But then the night came.
Friends were on dates, out of town,
or with other people I didn't know
(you know how it is--
when you're heavy hearted,
making conversation isn't all that fun).
After a good deal of prayer,
I decided to get out of my world,
stop feeling sorry for myself,
and do something for someone else.
So, I went to the store for a gift--
for my friend Nicole who's struggling too.
I bought her a "Hang in there" card and a journal.
It made me feel so much better!
Honestly!!
Lesson: love-in-action can bring a happy-heart reaction! :)
Got a coverage slip at work;
had to cover an absent teacher's class.
A small amount of anxiousness set in.
You never know what to expect on these days!
Especially with this assignment: a bilingual classroom!
The Lord was all over it!
He helped me--gave me wisdom and favor--
from the start.
For the 25 minutes they worked,
I began some undercover work:
I started to pray for them.
I committed to praying the whole class period.
I don't know how to describe how good it felt.
I knew I was doing the best thing for them,
and nobody could stop me.
Lesson: separation of church/state shouldn't be a state-of-heart!
Day 199
Lonely lonely lonely.
Are you sensing a theme?
After so much time alone during the week,
the last thing I wanted was more alone time!
I wanted something FUN to do.
My sister and a girl friend both reached out,
and I spent a fun day with them.
But then the night came.
Friends were on dates, out of town,
or with other people I didn't know
(you know how it is--
when you're heavy hearted,
making conversation isn't all that fun).
After a good deal of prayer,
I decided to get out of my world,
stop feeling sorry for myself,
and do something for someone else.
So, I went to the store for a gift--
for my friend Nicole who's struggling too.
I bought her a "Hang in there" card and a journal.
It made me feel so much better!
Honestly!!
Lesson: love-in-action can bring a happy-heart reaction! :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
