Left work---briskly cold out!
Too torturous to sit and warm-up my car.
Pulled out of the parking lot and onto a main street.
Shivering, I chugged along, encouraging my "baby" to warm up fast.
As I drove away, a woman walking on the sidewalk caught my eye. She was all bundled up in a red winter coat with brown fluffy fur around the hood, making her way down the block with both hands full of bags of groceries. I remembered the winter my car completely died and I had to ride my bike to work everyday,
(in the wind, snow, ice) and my heart went out to her.
As I drove by, shivering in my car, the thought crossed my mind to pull over and offer her a ride. I kept driving, contemplating. "Well, my car is still cold..." and "She'll probably get freaked out..." (I work in a "ghetto" neighborhood...), but then I remembered the "old me." The me before Illinois. That sounds terrible, but I was always a small-town girl; I grew up and went to college in towns where people waved at you across the street and you could walk to Walmart or Blockbuster in your slippers.
Once I moved here, I quickly realized how everyone is focussed on their own lives, their own tasks, and getting to where they need to by zipping through yellow lights whenever necessary. I now do the same thing, so please don't feel like I am putting down IL residents. But before moving here, I was much more aware of others around me; I wouldn't have had to contemplate so long about picking the woman up.
By the time I decided I should offer her a ride, I was several blocks past her. I had to take one-way streets to get back to the place I saw her, only to see her cross the street and turn the corner. I followed her. When I rolled down the window and offered her a smile and a ride, she politely smiled and said thank you, but pointed that her house was the second one on the left. She smiled gratefully and called out, "Bless you! Bless you!" I drove away disappointed I missed the opportunity, but happy I was able to offer kindness. I wish I wouldn't have contemplated the situation so long, but it exposed the change in my heart. I don't want to lose the side of me that's compassionate toward others--the world has too great a need!
Lesson: be quick to serve
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well I'm sure the gesture was a nice enough. I would say not to doubt yourself so much, though it is completely human.
ReplyDeleteNo offense, but I'm wondering why you confine yourself to the label 'girl'? You are grown up, you have a job, a car.
I suppose if you like the term, that's fine enough. Just curious.
Kitty--thank you for the feedback and reflection! And thank you for making me reconsider the title of my blog. I think I used "girl" because it flowed well (as one syllable) and made me still feel young. :) I'm almost 30, and am trying to ignore the fact that I'm starting to see smile wrinkles around my eyes! At the same time, now that I think about it, maybe it is confining?! Do you have suggestions for an alternate title? I'd love to improve it.
ReplyDeleteI still think of myself as a girl and I'm 32, but then I do have to remind myself, "No, I'm a woman," which is easier to do when you're taller than most of the people you work with (my students). And I prefer to think (and hope) I'm a lady! You're right that it makes for a catchier title.
ReplyDeleteIn the commentary for "Mona Lisa Smile," one of the actors pointed out that back then, the goal was to be a grown-up. You wanted to get married, have a job and house, raise a family right away (hence some character choices). So 20-yr-olds were acting 40. Now, they observed, we have 40-yr-olds who act and want to be seen as 20 (and I have students whose parents don't do right by them as a result - because they're not ready to grow up yet). - Melissa
Yes--isn't 30 the new 20?! I tell myself this when I start thinking about the fact that I'm not married yet... And since I'm not dating anyone, it could be a while before my hand is weighed down by a diamond and my eyes are sparkling with love! I do like the freedom of being a "grown up," but I definitely want to keep a young heart. Young as in, still full of dreaming and hoping and some sense of innocence. Is this possible?
ReplyDeleteHi, Thanks for adding me as a friend on Blog Catalog. Your blog is nice! Well done! Will follow you! Take care, you are doing great! And you are a girl when you want to feel that way!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Ellen--your last sentence left me smiling. Very sweet!
ReplyDelete