Day 140 A Flute Farewell

Today was the first time a claim didn't make me happy.
I walked away with a tinge of sadness and doubt.
When I was in 4th grade, I joined band as a flute player.
My flute was special, for a beginner player--
we found out after I'd purchased it that it was an open-hole flute.
Playing flute soon became a passion, and continued to be all the way through high school.

I didn't major in it because I hurt my wrists my senior year and couldn't play for a few years.

It has popped into my head a few times to sell my flute

(I have a much nicer, expensive, open-hole flute that I currently play)

but then I'd always hold onto it. 

Did I really want to get rid of my very first one?

Quite an emotional attachment to the "first" of something,

especially something that turned into a passion.

I was going through my closet the other day and decided it was time.

Why hold onto it, even for my future children,

if there are kids with a need for one now?

(I teach in a school where there is a desparate need for supplies.)

Today I walked up to the band room at my school and handed it to the director.

It was an emotional journey for me--

doubt, hesitance, and sadness grew stronger with each step.

I pushed them away.  "No.  I don't need this.  It's just an object.  Someone else needs it more."

I walked away with a small sadness in my heart.

Down the stairway I went, out the back door, across the parkinglot...

And then I told myself, "I will forget all about it in a few days."

I know it will make some child very happy some day!

Lesson: sacrifice does not always feel great in the moment